Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D.

Yesterday, I had a delightful encounter with a three or maybe four year old, extremely intelligent young lady. We greeted each other with a high five and she looked at me and asked, “What’s wrong with your face?” Now, how would you answer that question? I knew exactly what she meant. My face is that of an old woman with 82 years of experience–wrinkled, sagging, and liver spotted. I watch out for stray long hairs that grow out of interesting spots, unexpectedly. I cover the liver spots with makeup, but this day, I was in the raw, un-made up, “au naturale.” I also had a lot of sweat pouring from my pores, and reddened skin due to lifting some heavy boxes. My answer to Piper was that “I got really hot.” She countered with, “Why are you hot?” And that brought many possibilities to my mind. I thought she wouldn’t really be interested in the weather facts. We have had a very hot summer of record-breaking heat and no rain. (I call it the Rick Perry effect–lots of hot air and high pressure drying us up here in Texas.) But those ideas wouldn’t be interesting or pertinent in the life of a little girl. So we said good bye and I hope to meet her again very soon. I smile at the candor and honesty of her question. She is perfectly wondrous–a genius with original vision and incredible determination.

It brought to my mind one of the memories from my own childhood. They said that I would go to people and tell them, “I will be ‘free’ in January.” It’s true my birthday is in January and in the year 1932, I would have been three years old, so I was probably two and a half when I told people that I would be “free” in January. Then, my thoughts went to being free. Freedom to say whatever is on my mind. Like the crack about Rick Perry. Just as my new friend, Piper, said what she thought with no censoring. Such a loss when we are censored. How much more delightful to enjoy life from a totally honest place. To say what we think, without worry that it won’t please or be perfect, now that is a dream come true. How would the world be different if we were candidly honest and said whatever came to our minds? We have not avoided conflict or war by being unreal.

Some other words are on my mind. I call them the bad “C”s: Competition, comparison, and control. If we could replace them with collaboration, compassion, and communication, things might flow a little better. In the world of commerce, competition is a carry over from the long ago age when we quit being nomadic and became farmers with our own territory, which we protected. Then we compared our farm to our neighbors’ and competition to win became the name of the game. Cooperation is better than winning over them. Compassion and understanding are better than censoring. We are all in this big Cosmic Connection and we will do well to accept one another as we are, without blame, judgment, or fault-finding. Community and belonging are better than comparing and competing.

Honest, open communication and freedom to experience life in all its joy are added to my ongoing vision of “Beginner’s Heaven.” It is our privilege to construct it as we evolve into possibilities. Please join me in envisioning what your Beginner’s Heaven would look like and how it would feel.

When someone asks me about my day, I get a thrill.  Same in reverse.  When I ask someone about their day, I get a thrill.  So, if I like to be thrilled, then I can reach out, touch someone, and together we can create something optimistic or pessimistic.  I really enjoy the answers to my questions.  Each person is so different, so unique, and represents a story in action.  Each holds unlimited possibilities.  Each one of us was generated by an energy field that knows only possibilities.  So, whatever I perceive, it becomes my reality.  When I engage with someone on a one to one basis, I can be interested, enthusiastic, and friendly. They can, too.  One person can make a huge difference.

All those someones come together in clusters called families, groups, teams, and tribes.  Tribes are about connections.  A group can become a tribe if there is a shared interest and a way to communicate that interest.  Facebook is one communication method that allows us to be together.  We form tribal connections.  When the tribe assembles, good things can happen.  I can use Facebook to ask, “How was Your Day?”  ”What shared interest do we have?” “How can we communicate?”  I can use e-mail to reach out and communicate.  Telephones, texting, and who knows what else will be coming down the technical innovations pike?  Share Interest?  Communication.?  Possibility of a Tribe?  Let’s talk about it.

Written at 6:00 p.m. on October 13, 2010

Three subjects that reveal a person’s strengths in action:

I.  Memories from the past that are satisfying.  This includes actions, achievements, relationships, skills, or knowledge.  Ask, with what am I most satisfied or what makes me most proud?

II.  What energizes me in the present?  What gets me going?  What inspires me?  What motivates me?

III.  Looking to the future, what feels good?  Like waiting for the gifts that come at holidays, think about the desires you have.  This includes things you want to have,  achievements you still want to do, or the positive qualities you want to be.

I have noticed that people who grow their talents into real strengths can talk about all three of these subjects with positive emotion.  I have also noticed that people who look backward to the past with regrets or needs for vengeance seem to be filled with negative emotion.  And, the ones who look forward to the future with worry or anxiety feel bad, too.  The only place we are actually happy and full of joy is right now.  The present moment is where life takes place.  Awareness of our past or future in positive visions, thoughts, and imagination is the best way to be in the path of Strengths in Action.  Living in the Strengths Path will bring you happiness and joy.  And, it can happen right now!

Woke up abruptly at 3:00 a.m. with a mild stinging sensation on my chin. Didn’t want to turn on the light and wake Paul, so I brushed it aside. Went back to sleep. It came again, so I threw caution to the winds and turned on the light. There it was on the carpet –a small “creepy crawly critter” wandering toward the wall, a baby scorpion. I grabbed a nearby washcloth to pick it up and took it to the commode, where it swam away as I flushed it down the drain.

Why this visit? What is the deeper message from a creature such as this? Could it be because I had worked that day with a woman whose birth sign is Scorpio. Her issues were familiar…all about the future….mothering…careers….friendships…..relationships……typical women’s life issues yet very unique to her. Our session was delightful and her work was profound. So, what was the reason I still received the night visitor who stung my chin? The context was the anniversary of 9-11. My personal context was my healing from cataract surgery the week before.  I am exploring the meaning of this mystery.

At the physical level, I know we have a lot of scorpions here in central Texas. We have a scorpion sighting almost every day. They come out when it rains. Recently, I was told about the hatching of hundreds of baby scorpions in a light fixture at Ricket Ranch, where Anna, Kaye and John live. My friends in South Texas include two incredible young people who treasure spiders and scorpions and are making a successful business selling tarantulas and delivering lectures on the values of creepie, crawlie critters. You can follow their ingenious sustainability ideas on their website, notsocreepycritters.com.

I also remembered when our favorite astrologer Laurence Hillman visited, he found a very large scorpion in the bathroom and photographed it to take back to his daughter, who is also a Scorpio. So the physical connects to the cosmic in some way. Carl Jung always pointed out the serendipity, the synchronicity of our experiences and I have a good time going to the levels beyond the physical. It is fun to look for the deeper connection to whatever happens. So, what can I make of this little incident? It was a very brief encounter with a very small little scorpion…….

First, it was a baby. New life, young being, just beginning. Every moment is a new beginning. Daily, we start fresh. Even at age 81, I am daily renewed and every “now” moment is a moment to see through fresh eyes, hear through rejuvenated ears, and cleanse all the old judgments so that I am reborn.

Second, it did what came naturally. It reacted with its ability to sting when I tried to brush it aside. That sounds sort of familiar. I don’t always get the reaction I expect and I certainly am known to react with my own stinging words when I feel attacked or “brushed aside.”

Third, it woke me up. Paul and I both look daily at our various “wake-up” calls. We see the signs of our bodies aging and we know that we have a limited number of years to be on this earth plane in these bodies, so we are doing what we think necessary to be on-track with where we are on life’s journey at this stage. We recently updated our wills, creating powers of attorney and medical directives with the clear intention that our demise is not to be extended through any artificial mechanical or chemical means. We are getting the papers in order so that our children will be able to find them. Our model is that of our mothers who did their due diligence. Victoria, my mother, was so up to date in her worldly possessions and affairs that my brother and I did not even have to probate her will. Paul’s Mother, Cora, lived many years with no complaint in a home that I think was stultifying. Her patience with us as we neglected her and as she was subjected to daily routines that she did not particularly like (going to bed at 6 pm for the convenience of the staff and being awakened at 5 am was not the style of living she preferred.) I see our parents now through the circumstances of my own life. And, I am gaining deeper compassion for the valiant way they gave themselves to us.

Fourth, the lesson from the baby scorpion is still in progress. I am projecting myself into the little critter and imagining trying to get the attention I want. Just going about my life in my own natural way, doing what I know how to do, and reaching for the best I can imagine. Perhaps a wild ride down the toilet? Going with the flow?

And finally, the early morning interruption of my sleep allowed me to be fully awake with no real purpose, so I indulged in a TV movie. I thoroughly enjoyed watching “Prizzi’s Honor” with Jack Nicholson. Went back to bed with a smile on my face and felt the joy of life in its moment by moment unfolding. The real mystery is that here is there and then is now, and all just “is”…I am eternally grateful and in awe of our connectedness and the miracle of life on this planet.

My favorite question is, “How was your day?”

If you say “I am having a good day.”, I think that you might be doing something you like to do. I know that will mean that you will be on an upward spiral towards being healthier, wealthier, and wiser!

People who like their jobs do the best work.

People who like their jobs make the greatest impact.

People who like their jobs are flexible and resilient—are able to change.

One person does make a difference. You are different from everyone else. That means you are unique and that makes you significant.

I love rebels. I also love heretics. Rebels and heretics seem to make the rules rather than follow the rules. Rebels are agents of change. Change is the risk worth taking.

Talent is limited or expanded by self-image. Self-image multiplied by Support (environment and relationships) added to Intention will increase Success. All of those factors will be divided by the ways in which you manage your Time and your Energy. To the level that all these factors are positive, you will experience success; to the level that any factor is negative, your success will be diminished.

The spiral of Consciousness: From Asleep to Aware to Awake to Alive to Attracting to Allowing to Authenticity. Spirals expand up and out. Your greatest expansion will come through your Authenticity. We create from our authenticity. Consciousness is the creative force channeled through one single individual. Imagination is the springboard of consciousness and imagination is the root of creation.

You are unique and you are significant. There is no other like you. You came here to make a contribution that only you can make. The world is a better place because you are here.

The shape of things to come: We will move from triangles to circles in our meetings in the future. Future business meetings will be not so much pyramidal as horizontal and circular, with leaders sitting in every position on the circle. That means you are a leader of one. You have a sphere of influence. You really do make a difference!

Circle meetings are the wave of the future. They will be positively convened and facilitated, with all voices heard; everyone talking and/or listening; respect for time and topic; and creativity encouraged. Circle meetings foster creativity, inviting all the minds to show up, listen up, open up, grow up, lighten up, wise up, link up, and offer up.

I am thinking about the differences between a crowd and a tribe. Wondering what you think? Leading the tribe is very different from marketing to the crowd. Leading the tribe requires vision. What does marketing to the crowd require?  What is your vision?  Your vision is your self expression.  This is the uniqueness of one human being.  Each is a whole universe with incredible genius, original vision, and divine determination.  Whether the tribe is a tribe of one (yourself), or a corporation, it is your vision that supplies the leadership.  So, the same old questions need to be asked, “Who are you?” and “What can you be?”

“How was YOUR day?”  is the question that can start the process of discovery of your true self.