Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D.

One more year has gone by.  Today, I am thinking ahead to this same date next year.  What will I be reviewing on January 9, 2010?  What did I accoomplish in 2009?  What was awesome and amazing?  Did I follow my muse?  Was I guided by my intuition?  What are on the lists of experiences?  The three main categories of lists are HAVING; DOING;  BEING.  As I look back in imagination over this year, 2009, what tangible items did I accumulate (HAVING); what did I accomplish (DOING); and what was my identity (BEING).

These are dreams, wishes, desires.  They are not resolutions or goals.  I am stating them in past tense, as if the desire was met.  This is my best method for manifesting what I want.  Try it, you may like it or some version of seeing what you want in virtual reality before it comes in actual reality.  Funny how I look back over my long life and see this in operation at all times.  What I think about does really come about.  It works with negative thought as well as positive.  Therefore, I am painting the most positive picture of 2009 as my mind will dream up.

The imagined dream:  I write on January 9, 2010:

In 2009, we successfully moved to 686 Clear Springs Hollow in Buda, TX, creating a new life of simplicity and environmental sustainability.  The house has great insulation, a rain barrel, a clothesline, a compost heap,  flower and vegetable plots, and a dry creekbed in the back yard with xerascaped grounds front and back.  It backs up to a greenbelt where we have planted acorns, chinaberry seeds, and any other tree that will grow in our climate.

I continued my work as a Strengths Coach and telephone counselor.  I listened and I reflected and I believed in the maximum development of each person I touched.  My own personal strengths were reviewed every morning with intentions to apply them to all my contacts.  I rehearsed before getting out of bed, the best version of myself that I could dream up every day.

My relationships evolved toward being more loving, kind, and caring.  They were as real and true as I could make them.  My beliefs, my thoughts, my feelings, and my behavior were in my awareness at all times.  I took responsibility for my creation of the spirit of all my relationships.

Money flowed freely and in great abundance.  We bought the new refrigerator, lawn mower, weed eater, water softener, mixer, coffee maker, seating, and office furniture for Paul.  We recycled old furniture and culled out unnecessary items, donating them to someone who needed them.  We studiously attempted to use what we had, give what we didn’t use, and protect the planetary resources in every day actions.  We purchased another car with careful attention to its environmental impact.  That car sits beside our Honda Civic Hybrid, which functioned nicely all year, getting 40 miles to the gallon or more.

My body responded well to healthy eating and good exercise.  I was aware and awake all year in my mind-my body-my spirit.  Paul and I practiced Qi Gong, Quantum Touch, Tama-Do exercises with sound-color-movement, and toning as learned from Don Campbell’s new book by that name.  Our chimes and massage table were used often all year.  We got to know our neighbors on our village walks and through our hospitality.

I joined a creative writing group and learned the real “how-to” of creating something interesting for people to read.  The flow of creative writing and speaking was awe-inspiring and easy.

We took trips to Tucson, a cruise to Alaska, and other pleasure journeys.  We kept all things running–house, cars, bodies, relationships.

Happiness was the norm in 2009.  I followed my lifelong compass of Joy, letting my emotional guidance system function to the maximum.  The 8 directions of this compass of joy meant that I was a loving, caring, playful, working, creative, evolving, and presencing human being.  I was full of gratitude, quick to express sorrow for wrong doings, and able to ask forgiveness as needed.

I learned this past year that I smile when I see my loved ones, when I am helped by anyone (clerks in stores), when I was contacted by my friends who allowed me to coach them, when I saw a beautiful sunset or sunrise, clear skies, stars, moon, and works of art made by humans.  Music brought joy and health.

I was amazed at the Life of People, Plants, Animals, Minerals, and all Atoms of expression of Being on this Planet in this Universe.  My awe has expanded.  My horizons into music, healing, self expression, and sacred knowledge is amazing and satisfying on my journey through this life, especially in this 80th year of my existence here.

I was inspired, amazed, and awed by the talents and beauty of our five children.  A new great grandchild entered our life this year (in June, 2009) joining our other precious great granddaughter.  All our children have grown and thrived throughout the year.  Their creativity continues to be phenomenol.  Our conversations were special as well as stimulating.  The transparency of beliefs-thoughts-feelings-behavior has evolved into these individuals.  They have taken responsibility for their lives and we have been included in their special events.  They have shared with us, trusted us, and loved us.

Altogether, looking back through the lens of future imagination, 2009 was one of our very best years here on Earth.  I am one woman living one life at one with all life.  My work with the Women’s Wisdom group was very meaningful and rewarding this year.  I returned to understanding the archetypal Goddesses in EveryWoman, first introduced to me by Jean Bolen.  As I continue into those juicy Crone years, I thought of my destiny in feminine form. As Madeleine Allbright said, “I like being a woman”.

So, I close this review of 2009 with reflection on my journey as a woman.  This past year, I did my best to expand and enjoy these roles I lived as a female.  My eight direction compass of Joy included these joyful and colorful goddess areas:

Persephone (girl child with new life and enthusiasm)                  SE-Red-Exist-”She Showed Up!”

Demeter (the mother part of me who listens & nurtures)             NW-Orange-Care-”She Listened Up.”
Artemus (the independent  woman who takes aim)                        SW-Yellow-Create-”She Opened Up.”
Aphrodite (loves and relates from the heart)                             NE-Green-Evolve-”She Continued to Grow Up”
Hera (the mate who had fun)                                                        W-Blue-Play-”She Stretched and She Lightened Up”
Athena ( follows her curiosity)                                               E-Indigo-Learn-”She Continued to Wise Up.”
Hestia (grasps the true meaning of connectedness)                   N-Violet-Love-”She Enjoyed Linking Up,”
Thosanustra (individual-holistic true purpose in life)                  S-Magenta-Work-”She Offered Up.”

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Most of our friends and family know that Paul and I read a lot of books.  Every day, we begin with our daily apple, green tea or coffee, and a delicious reading from many interesting books.  Yes, we read out loud to each other, and sometimes get caught in long discussions that make for a later breakfast.

I like Duane Elgin’s books.  Two of them are, “Promise Ahead” and “Voluntary Simplicity”.  In the first, he describes our evolutionary growth as a human species.  We are near the end of our adolescence and just might grow up in time to save our planet from an evolutionary crash.  He says we could even have an evolutionary bounce!  I like that and want to do my part in making sure we bounce instead of crash.

In Voluntary Simplicity, I like the questions on consumption:

1. Does what I own or buy induce and promote activity, self reliance and involvement, or does it invite passivity and dependence?

2. Are my consumption patterns providing basic satisfaction–or do I buy much that I don’t really need?

3. How tied are my job, my life, and my life style to installment payments, repairs and maintenance, costs, and the expectations of others?

4. Do I consider the impact of my consumption patterns to other people and the whole earth.

Thinking on these things, I came to a nice conclusion: Our life is active, involved, satisfying, and increasingly responsible in a sustainable way for this earth.  Nice to ponder what more we can do to add to sustainable living.

To dream a dream…..

And, to actually build the ships, hire the crew, and take the voyage…a rare sort of mind like the archetypal Odysseus, our son, Dr. Edward M. Robiinson dreamed a dream he never dared to dream…..from AUSTIN TO ABBEY ROAD.

The beginning was Haloween, 1983, a newly formed rock and roll band, naming themselves “Scurvy Otto and the Ricketts”, played at Young’s Pizza in Kingsville, TX.  Their songs fit the times.  Crowd favorites were, “Bang, Bang, It’s Alright” and “Rita, Rita, Won’t You Come on Home”.

Twenty-five years later, one of those band members dreamed a dream–to get the band together again.  Like Odysseus who took a hero’s journey around the Grecian Seas, Ed created a voyage, first in his imagination and then, in real time with real money.  Ed has a Ph.D. in Computer Science and other degrees in Physics, but his lifelong passion for music is a creative force in his world.

Returning from a successful adventure in the world of high tech, he came back to his roots.  Geographically, that meant returning to Texas and emotionally, it was a return to the world of music and his college days with the Ricketts.  He had another band in those days, which he named, “Special Ed and the School Bored”.  We enjoyed many nights out in Kingsville, listening to his music.

And, so the ship set sail in summer of 2008.  The result is an album called South Texas Stomp.   I admit I am prejudiced, but I really like listening to it.  I’m the Mom, so I confess to being biased.  When I watched this young man re-capture the spirit of that time 25 years ago, placing his venture capital in the support of the adventure, I was touched with the dare of the dream.  He risked an amount that could have been used for an Astin-Martin or top of the line Porsche.  He termed it his “mid-life crisis” but a car would have depreciated and the memories the band created will be forever adding value to the lives of all who were there.

Ed hired his sister, Kaye Barlow, to manage the details.  Another sister, Cynthia Barlow-Thompson, was chronicler and photographer.  Yet another sister, Anna Brown, was hired to be an assistant back at home.  Mike Morgan, Bobby Aycock, Alan Barnette, who were the original Scurvy Otto and Ricketts, were recruited and brought to performance and recording standards at Five AM Studios here in Austin.  Robert Thompson was all around go-for rounding out the crew.

So the trip was made and they created a song to tell the story, “From Austin to Abbey Road,” complete with sound effects of the flight and the streets of London.

Family is a priceless gift.  Paul told me early in our marriage that all we can give our children is memories.  Now the children are returning the favor.  Ed’s creativity was the source of yet another memorable family story.  The band will be in Kingsville on Haloween this year, performing again at Young’s Pizza.  We are going to be there with bells on.

I learned another method for good communication today. Chuck Shamel, a friend of the long road, wrote about RESPECTful Communication Guidelines in his report of a recent Vestry Retreat for All Saints Episcopal Church in Corpus Christi, TX. The retreat was led by another friend, Rev. Faith Baldwin. Faith introduced them to a new meaning for RESPECT as a way of listening and responding to one another.

Here are the guidelines, using the letters of the word, RESPECT:

R -take RESPONSIBILITY for what you say and feel without blaming others.

E-use EMPATHIC listening.

S-be SENSITIVE to differences in communication styles.

P-PONDER what you hear and feel before you speak.

E-EXAMINE your own assumptions and perceptions.

C-keep CONFIDENTIALITY when it is requested; share CONSTRUCTIVELY.

T-TRUST ambiguity because we are NOT here to debate who is right or wrong.

These principles will be great to use in any conversation!!

(Respectful Communication was developed by Eric H. F. Law. You can read more about them in his book, “The Wolf Shall Dwell With the Lamb”.)

I last saw my beloved cousin on July 29, 2007 at her home in Amarillo. We were there for our grandson’s wedding so I was privileged to see her and say goodbye. Wistie died on Haloween. Her funeral at First Baptist Church in Amarillo was a time of great family love and connection. This is the letter I wrote in July before her death in October. Fortunately, she responded to it and we had a loving conversation by telephone. I still miss her and I treasure our time together.

HARVEST OF MEMORIES

To: Wistie from Margie

You were there when I was born in our grandfather’s little white farm house 9 miles south of Ralls, TX. Jimmie and Poppie took care of you in my baby bed, rolling it back and forth, while Josie, Odie, and Dr. Haynie delivered me in the middle bedroom. Mother remembers the squeak of the wheels as you were kept quiet. That was January 23, 1929 and you were five months old.

When we were toddlers, our mothers sewed those little pink dresses, just alike. Then, they would take us to town and Mr. Ralls, with his pince nez monicle eye glass, would greet us with a big laugh. After warm hugs, he gave each of us a nickel to buy an ice cream cone at Spencer’s drug store.

When Don was born, Ernie kept you and me in Ralls while your mother did her mid-wife service. We rolled up in quilts and Ernie would unroll us very fast. He also was dead set on controlling you, which seemed rather hard to do. Auntie often referred to you as her little monkey. You did keep us all laughing.

Do you remember lathering our faces with soap suds and asking the family to identify which one of us was Margie and which one was Wistie? Jimmie, Auntie, Uncle Jim, Odie, Billy, Poppie, and Joe were there, usually at a table with lots of delicious home cooking. The laughter made the food more delicious, I think.

Another time, we turned our dresses backward and walked in backward just for the laugh…..all these clever ideas were always yours, of course.

We got crooked maize stalks from the field, blew them like saxophones and got straight ones to take to the toilet so we could “pee like boys”……

We took the Chinese Checker marbles to the maize patch and just threw them up in the air (or maybe you just said we should do that and I stopped you for fear of Odie’s wrath???)

Another memory: Odie had fashioned a way to take a bath by punching holes in a gallon can and filling it with water. So, you and I were taking a great bath and giggling when Don sneaked up and peeked through the outdoor shower curtains at us. He was “talked to” by Odie. He begged him to “just whip me—don’t talk to me”. The shame ran deep that day.

Your family was always a bright shining star to me. Your mother loved me and warmly welcomed me; Uncle Jim was my ideal of a man; and you, Ernie (“Boy”) and Louise (“Sister”) were like jewels to me. When we saw you coming, happiness came over the whole family like a blessed curtain of love.
I still love Ruidoso because you, Auntie, and Uncle Jim took me on a wonderful weeklong vacation to a log cabin there. We caught fireflies and kept them in a fruit jar.

I remember that I was taken to visit you in Lubbock for a few days (unexpectedly) and it just happened that you were going on your very first date. Auntie said, “Margie Ruth will just go with you!” And you and the boy you were dating hustled up someone for me to be with. Oh, my goodness, can you ever forgive me?

There was the time in Waco, when I was president of the BSU in Kingsville and on the state BSU council. You were there from Hardin Simmons and you yelled my name when our bus arrived. You grabbed me up and whirled me around in the absolute best greeting I ever received. It made the trip for me. Didn’t hurt my reputation with the Kingsville group either!

You and Louise were so helpful in the James Robinson-Margie McNeely wedding on May 25, 1947 in Weslaco at the First Baptist Church. You were my maid of honor. I chose Sunday morning because I remembered that Louise and S.S. had married on a Sunday morning in Lubbock FBC. I was always looking to your family for the right path. I chose to be a business major because Uncle Jim was the building inspector in Lubbock and I thought I might be a secretary in an office like his. Notice, I was limited to the women roles. I could be a secretary, a teacher, or a nurse. But that is another story, isn’t it?

Then you and Bill married, but I was so pregnant with my firstborn child that I couldn’t go to your wedding. I couldn’t believe that you had married someone from Ralls. Bill’s sister Rosemary was so beautiful. My brother, Don, competed for her in first grade with his best friend, Bobby Anthony. And, there many years later was my favorite cousin marrying Rosemary’s brother Bill!! Such a joy that was for our family.

Even though I missed your lovely wedding, Bill ended up working—“Roost-a-bootin” he called it—in Premont, Texas just a few miles away from where James and I lived. You were there the day our pre-mature baby died, offering love and caring. Once again you led the way, suggesting that we could visit each other on Fridays, we had those wonderful Friday nights in Premont and Kingsville when we lived close enough to see each other more often. I will not ever forget seeing Vicki on the day of her birth there in that little tiny hospital. The nurses played with Kathy while I visited you and Vicki.

Images from your time in Premont: You had the cleanest house—Tide and Clorox kept the kitchen linoleum spotless—and great food. I remember a truly splendid white cake you had prepared when you were about 8 months pregnant before Vicki was born. You served it to James and Kathy and me on one of those nice Friday night visits.

So, we both became wives. Then you had all those children and I had all those children. What wonderful years and how blessed we have been. I will never forget the night I called to ask you to feed a crowd as we returned from Colorado…only to get to your door and be astonished that you were yet again pregnant! I apologize to you and Bill for eating all your bacon and eggs that night, but I will never ever forget the love and laughter that we enjoyed. Must have been around 1963???

You and your family have always meant light and love and joy and happiness. Your warm heart has blessed thousands of people and I am one of those grateful ones.

I suppose at this age, it is OK to look back, so I seem to be in a life review of some 78-79 years, a miraculous and wondrous time here on this planet. I am aware that I was most fortunate to have your soul enter this world just 5 months ahead of me on August 22, 1928. I want you to know that you have always been a guiding light to me. You are a genius, with unique talents, creative vision, and a heart of purest gold.

I love you, Willa Jeanne Reid–Wistie McKee