Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D.

Some thoughts about the Condor, the Eagle, Pachacuti and three new books

The cycles of time as described in myths from South America are called Pachacuti, and each covers approximately 500 years. Columbus discovered the Americas in 1492, which could be seen as a pivotal beginning. The next “pachacuti” would be 1992, and might be thought to be the beginning of the new age where the condor will be invited to fly with the eagle. The condor represents the deep and warm spirituality of the southern hemisphere and the eagle is thought to be a symbol for the materialism of the northern hemisphere. We are ready for some reconciliation between spirituality and materialism.  (The number 5 is important here.  There is another idea formed in Japan recently regarding powerpoint presentations.  They call it “pacha kucha” and it means 20 slides, each 20 seconds long –a six minutes, forty seconds ppt. !!)

My recent visit to South America was deeply rewarding and satisfying. My hosts were warm and welcoming and I felt that warmth and experienced the welcome with heart-felt meaning. Their understanding and compassion came forth in the smiles and physical touch offered by each one individually. I was included and I was honored. The whole trip was gratifying and helpful to me as a human being who is still “incomplete”. I am so glad that I was privileged to experience these feelings. My “bucket” was filled to overflowing.  I am so grateful to all my Interface Flor friends in Argentina and Brazil.  Thank you, each one!

Perhaps our evolutionary movement as a species called “human” is progressing toward more balance between matter and spirit. In our western world in the northern hemisphere of our planet, we are materialists with addictions to things. We procure more “stuff” as if that will bring some sort of spiritual satisfaction. We eat more, gain more weight; and then we spend lots of money trying to lose that weight. I watch at the supermarket and am astounded by the people crowding the aisles with overflowing carts filled with chips, soft drinks, and high fat-empty calorie foods. Our addiction to the white stuff of refined sugar and grains is there to be seen in our fat bodies and our sedentary life styles. Our children prefer computer games to outdoor play. We sit when we could walk or run. On and on, the evidence mounts that we have reached some sort of saturation point.

We build more closet space, buy bigger houses, and rent storage space to hold all our “stuff”. We have “overdosed” on materialism. Swami Beyondananda (Steve Bhauerman) says we are the targets of “weapons of mass distraction”.  So, the eagle has flown very high. Now is the time to join the condor, blending our materialistic society with the society of the indigenous natives who are close to the earth and fly with the condor. Change is ahead, for sure.

I am not yet sure how that would translate here in our household. I just know that eating vegetables and fruits is increasingly more satisfying. I also know that the acquisition of yet more stuff is probably not the route to real joy. We are deliberately “down-sizing” and enjoying the simpler life.

I think about the wisdom of our native American forebears and the philosophy they brought to the settlers of the new world that became our United States of America. Studying these tribes and the Andean tribes of South America is like seeing history through new eyes. History is subjective and has been skewed to fit the prevailing zeitgeist of the times. There is a transformation in the future as we re-view and re-state our concepts of earlier times.

Dan Brown’s new book, “The Lost Symbol”, reveals how our founders were thinking as they declared their independence from an outmoded way of governing. I enjoy Dan Brown’s writing and have found this latest book to be a “page-turner” that I devoured in a short time.

Another book we are studying now is also along those same historical revisioning lines. Bruce Lipton and Steve Bhaerman have written an evocative book entitled, “Spontaneous Evolution”. They are presenting leading-edge possibilities and a mind-expanding way of looking at our existence.

Most of my friends know that I am a “book-a-holic”. I make no apology since learning is one of my strengths. Today, I am deep into a little book by Mike Morrison, “The Other Side of the Card”. He is saying that we can find meaning in life and work.  His “me-we” philosophy is easy to grasp and makes lots of sense. This is a quick read and I recommend it for anyone who is in a leadership role (or aspiring to become a leader).

We are incomplete.  We can learn.  We can expand.  We can evolve.

written December 1, 2009 at 6:00 p.m.  here in Buda, TX.

Consider the circle.  That shape has been a universal symbol for God.  It suggests the infinite, never-ending inclusion of all.  Many years ago, I learned to deliver a curriculum, “Magic Circle”, to schools. It was designed by Dr. Valo Palomares and his ex-wife, Geraldine.  The structured circle sessions helped children feel at home in the affective domain–the world of feelings.  From that training in Magic Circle and my own doctoral dissertation (an experiment about emotions and our language of origin), I came to value the use of a circle as a place for groups to participate.  My Women’s Wisdom group always sits in a circle.  Each gets a fair share of the time, there are no “put-downs” and we listen to each other respectfully.  So, I recommend that you hold meetings in the circle, much like the legend of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table.  There is a chance we can create Camelot again.  It works in families, in churches, and in business meetings.

To illustrate the circle model, imagine a group of adults gathered together.  The subject can be any current crisis/opportunity.  Whatever the subject these two questions set the stage for discussion:   

Where have we been and where are we going?

What is the future that wants to emerge?

Background thoughts:  Our view of the world has changed.  All our opportunities are now global.  Seeing our circular Planet Earth from the moon gave us a new image of the fragile nature of our world and the enormous responsibility we have as humans who make conscious choices. We have become an Earth tribe.

We humans have a propensity to higher consciousness and greater freedom. We naturally tend to expand. We are quite possibly evolving evolution. Today, this means expansion of ideas through awareness of the connectedness of all life. Global reality and global crisis requires that we look for newness to emerge; that we learn from failure and move toward best practices and solutions.

We are serving the needs of future generations—tomorrow’s children. We can use sustainable methods. From the past, we have an example: the Iroquois nation brought peace among warring tribes through such a meeting of leaders. They sat in a circle where each was given time to talk and the others listened respectfully (Benjamin Franklin reported how remarkable was their deep listening—“not at all like the British House of Commons where everyone shouts and interrupts”). At the end of the meeting of the tribal council, they had found new solutions, which brought them to their objective—peaceful co-existence.

We are moving from an age of power and control into an expanded, advanced age of emergence and creativity. So, we are asking your answer to the question: “What is the future that wants to emerge?”

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world—indeed it is the only thing that ever has.”–Margaret Mead

Conversations in an atmosphere of acceptance and safety will inspire creativity. Creativity becomes contagious and serves the common good better than guilt or fear. The structure is circular—a round table—where all are equal and welcome.

In this circle, all are included and all are valued. The take-away will be known only after we have offered our ideas. The solutions are heretofore unknown and undefined. This is emergent phenomenon and it will by definition be creative. Our takeaways will be what we have generated together in these few hours of our time together in dialogue. Each speaker will present ideas and best practices. Each will challenge you, the listeners, with questions. These questions will stimulate our design iterations.

Perspectives: How does Nature create and emerge in ongoing evolution?

What designs do we need that will create a habitat for learning?

How can we best use the leading edge technology toward planetary connectedness ?

What changes must we make individually and internally to foster a new business culture that includes social sustainability?

A Learning organization is an organization with Positive Identity. Certain elements are needed to create positive identity for both organizations and individuals. These come to my mind, using the pattern of my “Lifelong Compass of Joy”……

I.  Authenticity (this means growth that follows a spiral of development from asleep to    aware to awake to alive to attracting to allowing to authentic beingness). For one person or a whole organization, it means to “Show Up”.

II. Cooperation (this includes the art and science of deep listening and inclusion with overtones of caring rather than competition based in fear of loss). It means we can “Listen Up”,

III. Creative Leadership (I like theory U by Otto Scharmer.  It involves the art and science of “presencing” with open mind, open heart, open will). So, releasing our creativity, we can “Open Up”.

IV. Evolutionary Growth (Like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, this is based in the theory of dissipative structures with vibrant resilience in the face of change. New belief and new thought: Old structures die away and are replaced with something better. We are incomplete. We are experimenting. We have not been wrong. We are just not done yet.)  We build on what has gone before as we  “Grow Up”.

V. Nature’s Wisdom (We learn from Mother nature, who creates by playfully “mucking about”…a general lightness of being without judgment and atmosphere of fun, with useful recycling of good ideas.) Ancient wisdom suggests that we can have fun and enjoy every day.  We can play and we can “Lighten Up”.

VI. Learning (Knowledge and skills are important learnings.  And, both optimism and hope are learned; positivity is learned; transformational leadership is learned).  We can see through new eyes and we can  “Wise Up”.

VII. Positive Relationships (Organizations and individuals in relationship to self and others can pursue the basics of learning to love one another….expressing acceptance, approval, awareness, affection), allowing us to  “Link Up”.

VIII. Work and Reputation (Our work is our legacy or contribution to the family, the community, and the world). We can “Offer Up”.

Transformational Leadership is true “Social Artistry” and might be the secret to Social Sustainability. Such leaders are “Paradigm Pioneers”. We are at the beginning of a new age and ready for a transformative industrial revolution. We are a global village with interlinking lives and the future is one that will affect all life on this planet.  No matter how small your sphere of operation, you can be a leader.

I think of Ben Zander’s book, “The Art of Leadership” and his idea that you can lead from any chair. Just as the 7^th chair violinist is a leader of self, so can every individual rise to that kind of transformation. It requires diligent self –awareness and self-responsibility. Maturity implies autonomy. I think of this as Self Sustainability.  From the inside out, we build and we grow.

Regarding maturity, I don’t know any better way to encourage and foster maturity than through relationships with attitudes of inclusion rather than judgment or condemnation. We are all one and we are all involved in the rise or fall of our species. When the sense of belonging is strong, the personal responsibility for success of the system seems to follow. The old thinking about cause and effect and asking “Why?” kept us in the cycle of finding who is to blame and then complain as if that will solve anything. It only beats the drum of blaming and complaining, which becomes the unstated vision or goal. Humanity has perfected that particular goal so we are very adept at blaming and complaining. Hence, we answer most feed-back with defensiveness or offensiveness. It implies a war or a battle with winners and losers. Truth is, we are all in this together.

If each one of us can grasp that we are both/and individual and collective, we will begin to take rightful ownership for the plight we are in and its solution. Best analogy of this is from Alice O. Howell. She says, “It’s as if each of us lives in a separate bubble submerged in an ocean. Inside the bubble is water and outside the bubble is water, but our separate reality is limited to the water within our own bubble. However, when something affects the water outside, it simultaneously affects the water inside all the bubbles. But in our own bubbles we feel isolated and different from everything outside our own sphere. The underlying unity remains elusive at the experiential level.”

I would add that we are capable of recognizing that we pollute the water in our own bubble with every negative thought. That negative emotion not only affects the water in our own bubble, it vibrates and radiates negativity into the whole ocean around us. So, I ask people to consider that negative emotions are a signal, an internal guidance system that suggests we are using our personal power in a detrimental way. Authenticity lends itself to a feeling of being “on-track” in our life journey. Negative emotions signal that we are “off-track”.

Leadership begins from within and the best, perhaps the only, way to build a positive identity for an organization is to begin with number one—with each individual team member, all the way to the last employee. “Brighten the corner where we are and let our light shine” become the guiding principles for change and for resilience in the face of downturns. Hope, optimism, future visions, and positive identity start with this seed from every individual person, no matter what age, stage, or position they are in.

I don’t ever give up and I have hope for all individuals. Skills required to do such things as “twittering” are learnable, but require some amount of personal security to risk putting oneself “out there”. (I might add that the risk is worth it because it means admitting that we all belong and all the challenges are ours—not someone else’s.) Understanding generational differences helps. Transformational Leadership requires belief systems that allow for new “forms” that transcend the old ones.

Simply stated, we can “Show Up, Listen Up, Open Up, Grow Up, Lighten Up, Wise Up, Link Up, and Offer Up”.

I usually close with “I have upped my life—Up Yours!”

Someone asked for my latest reading list. Here are the books Paul and I are studying these days:

1. Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book for the laughs.

2. The Living Universe by Duane Elgin, which gets us into cosmic thinking.

3. The Spontaneous Healing of Beliefs by Gregg Braden provokes us to examine our beliefs.

4. The Art of Extreme Self Care by Cheryl Richardson is her latest book on self-care and self-love.

5. The Heavens Declare, The Dove in the Stone, and The Web in the Sea by Alice O. Howell, whose lovely grandmotherly approach to all things of the soul are juicy treasures to read. She is my favorite Jungian writer on Astrology, which I am still studying. After 10 or more years, I know little.

6. In preparation for Laurence Hillman’s workshop at Red Corral Ranch in September, I am reviewing old books on Astrology: The New Way to Learn Astrology by Basil Fearrington and Intuitive Astrology by Elizabeth Rose Campbell. Alignments and Planets at Play by Laurence himself.

7. Living Your Strengths by Winseman and Clifton and How Full Is Your Bucket? By Don Clifton and Tom Rath, and Strengths Leadership by Rath are ongoing books I use in Strengths Coaching for Interface Flor, Inc.  and others.

8. The Dumbest Generation by Mark Bauerlein (How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future) is comfort for parents of the under 20-age group.

9. Excuses Begone! By Wayne Dyer summarizes what I am coming to believe—that our beliefs actually create our life. Another book that lead me to that thinking is The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton.

10. Breakthrough by Suzanne Somers enlightens us on the need for bio-identical hormone therapy.

11. If It’s Not Food, Don’t Eat It! Is a no-nonsense guide to an eating-for-health lifestyle, which we are attempting to follow.

That same person who asked about our reading list, wanted to know how we manage the time to read all these books. One of my top five Strengths is “learner” and that makes reading or any kind of knowledge very motivational to me. I hunger to learn and pursue learning like it is candy. So, any trip to a good bookstore is like a trip to a candy store. We have evolved into routines that support reading and study. Just as homework was a part of early school life, so the continual learning cycle is a daily process. Our schedule simply includes books. Some of the above we are literally reading to each other. Some we read in solitude. Our morning looks like this: 6:30 rise and shine, then our daily 7:00 a.m. apple and coffee or tea while we read and journal. Then breakfast and exercise. We both get to our work at around 9 or 10 a.m. Lunch is separate and on our own. Afternoons, Paul works on his Play Therapy project and I take calls. At 5:00 we stop for Happy Hour, which may be a glass of wine or cold water. The day ends with dinner and a walk around the neighborhood. Ideally we play a game of cards at 9 p.m. and go on to bed by 10:30.

So, there you have a day in the life of Paul and Marj Barlow at our new home in Buda, Texas. I would love to read about your day, also. I am so happy when I get to know you better. Thanks for reading this and I am hoping you will respond.

INTERNAL SILOS?
These ideas are forming after studying the book by Patrick Lencioni, “Silos, Politics, and Turf Wars”.

FOUR INTERNAL SILOS THAT OPERATE LIKE EXTERNAL SILOS AND ONE SILO OF HOPE:

I.  The SURVIVAL silo
Reptilian brain
Habit and tradition
Fear and victimization

II.  The BAD FEELINGS silo
Limbic  system
Hurting Heart
Emotion and “Rescuitis” or “Victimization”

III. The CREATIVE THINKING silo
Neo-Cortex
Right Brain Creativity
Up, Up, and Awayyyyyy
Brainstorming
Dreaming
Imagining

IV  The LOGIC and REASONING silo
Left Brain Logic
Scientific proof
Cold, mechanistic, unfeeling
“Business is business”
Persecution, Criticism, and Victimization

Good News–The HOPE silo
Frontal Lobes  (evolutionary human development)
Oneness (We are all in this together)
Altruism (The operational theme in this silo)
Ultimate applied Christianity
Contains positive energy

Just as silos in corporations operate independently and have turf wars, so do we partition off our internal mind-brain system with one section at war with another when the daily frustrations of life are providing obstructions to our quest for happiness and success.

Four examples come to my mind.  These are not real life stories from individual people, but composite stories from many who experience these internal turf wars.

1.  e.g. Wife says, “It is hard for me to get excited about my husband going on a business trip to Hawaii when I am 8 months pregnant”.   She operates in the FEELINGS silo

2. e.g. Husband says, my wife is scheduled for a hysterectomy and I am being sent to South America.  I go because I have dropped the ball before and am in danger of losing my job.  He comes from the LOGIC and REASON silo, which is lodged in the left-side thinking brain.  (The new research says left and right brain models are much too simplistic but we use it here for sake of the argument)  He thinks, maybe I can get my doctor to advise me not to fly, which is the only real excuse acceptable to my company.  This is a leftover from the old factory, church, and public school dictums—you show up unless you are sick.  You don’t stay home just because a family member is sick.

3.  e.g. President of the company (or Nation) says, I set the visionary path and everyone who answers to me has a version of the path—not always in alignment with what I am envisioning.  How do I persuade or inspire them to follow the path?     He is going back and forth from his own frustration (FEELINGS silo) and re-thinking whether his leadership choices are correct (LOGIC silo) with overtones of struggle from his wish to adhere to the vision (CREATIVITY silo).  All the time, many who answer to him are in the SURVIVAL silo, following old, cynical belief patterns and a “ho-hum-here-we-go-again” stoicism.  Or, his followers may be practicing the “law of the minimum” where they do just enough to appear to be on track but, behind the scenes, they are full of talk about their doubts in their leader.

4.  e.g. the “poor me” employee who is certain his boss is prejudiced (FEELINGS silo)…collecting data to support the feelings over in the LOGIC silo.   When playing the victim game of Poor Me, there is a scene where anger and resentment (FEELINGS) are coupled with observation of behavior providing proof for the conclusion that the boss has favorites (LOGIC).  These two silos are not so much at war as they are teaming up to support the fear-based silo (SURVIVAL)

5.  e. g.  middle manager has a difficult project that is not going well.  Internally, her fight is between the SURVIVAL silo, which says she will last on the job only through playing the game right.  Yet when she visits the LOGIC silo, she has enough experience to grasp that the project may fail.  So the outcome, if it fails, is it will fall back on her shoulders and she will be blamed.  There is a war between FEELINGS, and LOGIC, and SURVIVAL.

These internal wars are as vicious as the external turf wars.

How does the wife step up to support her husband in example one—without feeling sorry for herself?

How does the husband whose wife is having surgery justify going on the trip to SA?  She is not too empathetic to the danger of his possible loss of job.  She says something like, “So, you can get another job!”  That takes them into another fierce argument about priorities.

How does the president adhere to the vision while others get the spirit of excitement and forward movement?  What will inspire them?  How do leaders actually stay in front of the curve of public criticism?  Where does he focus his energy?

And, finally, how does the employee who is feeling persecuted find a way to be enthusiastic and supportive of the boss he doesn’t trust?

Internal silos are coping mechanisms.  If our lives have been lived in quiet desperation, with denial of the reality of childhood woundings (and we have all been wounded far more than we can imagine); if our relationships still play psychological games with Rescuer-Persecutor-Victim the only roles available; if we believe that our feelings-thoughts-beliefs-behaviors are stimulated and controlled from the outside, then we will continue the blame and complain games.  And our internal silos will be in conflict.

If we get real and comprehend that there is another internal silo, where we honestly know that we are part of all life and that there is only ONE universal silo—then we will pursue the learning it takes to participate in that oneness.  We will get it that what is inside gets out-pictured in the so-called “real” world.  Each of us is creating the reality we experience.  The truth may be that the universe in its vastness is our parent body and we are all various individual cells in that body.

David Whyte’s new book and seminars based on the book, “The Three Marriages” is speaking to the Oneness.  He says that we have a personal marriage, a job marriage, and a marriage of self to Self.  If all three marriages can be reconciled into One Marriage, then we might reach a new age in human evolution.

My old concept of Self-Others-Society, SOS, fits here.  When we grasp the reality that we affect one another with the thoughts we think, the beliefs we espouse, the feelings, and the actions we initiate, then we can get to a place of real power.  Not power over but power with one another.  When we marry all three selves, we can empower our true essence of soul to come forward on the playing field of life on this planet and we will join together to move toward a world of Oneness, Harmony, Peace—both within and without.  That means we might just learn to love one another.  We might join our minds in pursuit of the highest calling we can find—true charity—true altruism—real LOVE—the final silo.

What if in example #1, the wife is a real grownup and she is interested in taking the path of love rather than fear.  She might say to her husband, “I want you to be with me in this last month of waiting for our baby, and if you decide to go ahead with the business trip, I will not take it personally.  I will trust your decision to be made from your best and highest thinking.”  The husband might or might not decide to stay home and take the risk of the consequences.  But, neither one of them will blame the other for their unhappy feelings and neither one of them will be “brought down” by the action of the other.  Actions are what we do and they reflect what we believe.  Thoughts and feelings are congruent to beliefs.  Moral lesson:  “Who am I really?  How do I want to be?  Will I choose the road of fear or the road of love?”

In example #2, a grown-up dialogue between husband and wife might bring them to understand their real core values.  Why is he working so hard?  Is it to buy things she wants?  What do they believe about illness?  Is illness ever used as manipulation?  What is important to us in our maturity?  Moral lesson:  “We are the heirs of our own choice-making.”

In example #3, this President (of a corporation or a nation) is elected or appointed or endowed with the position of leadership.  It is the leader who holds the vision.  The vision might have been collectively imagined from the whole company or country.  The leader may have his position because he captured that collective imagination.  Now, it is his role and duty to take that vision forward.  He must convince those who execute daily operations to adhere to the vision and interpret every action in accord with the vision.
How?  Through constant dialogue; through knowledge and awareness; through information gathered at all levels of the operation; through management by wondering around; through inspiring speeches and public appearances; through his own alignment with the vision at all levels of his life; and through the integrated oneness of his own code of ethics, values, and credo.  Such is the stuff of leadership.  The moral lesson: “Leaders are, by design, out front and lonely”

Example #4, this employee can open his mind and heart to possibilities for helping his boss to succeed.  His belief that the boss is out to get him will fade when he recognizes his boss as having worth and begins to support instead of criticize.  If, after 3 or 4 weeks of supportive action, he still sees evidence of his boss playing favorites, he might want to ask for a transfer.  Amazing how stopping criticism (even inside the mind), faultfinding, complaining, and resentment can open the door to possibilities of a different relationship.  So, his first task is to start a list of good qualities and positive behavior from his boss.  The list needs to grow longer than the complaint list.  The moral lesson:  “What you pay attention to will expand.”

Example #5:  It is true; responsibility falls on the backs of those who take responsibility!  Too much responsibility-taking can foster self-pity.  Sacrifice and martyrdom are akin to one another.  Every human being is a martyr to some cause—even if the cause is the care-taking of one’s own body.  Martyrs don’t necessarily have to be victims.  But self-pitying martyrs don’t make very good bedfellows.  As Harry Truman said, “If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.”  I say, you have the right to choose which kitchen you cook in.

Interpretation is everything.  This manager can look for alternate interpretations.  And, often the doomsday predictions are the product of leftover beliefs formed in childhood when we really were victims.  Deciding to be Rescuers was one way of escaping Victimization, but at the personal level, most Rescuers end up being Victimized.  So it is a no win game….and, yes, everybody dies.  UNLESS, you change beliefs and get the concepts of metaphysics with the vast array of possibilities—including Ascension instead of death!!!

So endeth today’s diatribe.  I have a feeling that I don’t want to show it to anyone, because…………

They might not like it.

They might reject me.

They might abandon me.

I might die!!!!!!!!

What the heck?

I might just Ascend and not die!!

Written on July 7, 2009