Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D.

Introduction and chapter one to my next book, with working title, “The Possible Woman Gets Engaged”.  I am writing these words to encourage women to define and create the next model of leadership for our Planet Earth.

THE POSSIBLE WOMAN GETS ENGAGED

Introduction

Women are poised and ready to enter the world in full partnership, taking their rightful places, as leaders.

In the next ten years, the planet Earth will be changing in ways unheard of before this century. Never before have we had the instant communication possible now. Never before have we had the military weaponry available now. Never before have we had holy wars with nuclear apocalyptic possibilities. Never before have we had the freedom of choice to bear babies or bear arms that we have now. Never before have we lived as long as we are now living. Never before have we had the availability of health and health care as we now can have. And, on and on, the changes that confront us on the home front and all institutional fronts are phenomenal. Institutions such as home, church, schools, and the corporation are in the midst of epic transitions. Those transitions, taking us to our next level of evolution can best be served with the entrance of women into leadership roles worldwide.

The time has come for women to get engaged. Engaged was a romantic term in my early adulthood. It meant a woman had found her mate and he had given her a ring and she was, therefore, “engaged”. “Engaged to be married” was a magical phrase in my childhood. Cinderella was my favorite story. Now, in the twenty-first century, engagement takes on a meaning of its own in the world of commerce. Some companies actually measure engagement. To be engaged means to be enthusiastically present for work or an endeavor. It means bringing the whole self, mind-body-spirit, into every waking moment. Engagement is the desired goal for corporate management. When all employees are fully engaged, success is ahead.

This book is about you as an individual woman, connected to all women, and thereby connected to all life, and your contribution to a world of human fulfillment. That could be a world filled with peace, love, and harmony. Women are ready. Women can do it. Women have an invitation to exercise power in leadership. And, you can lead “from any chair” as Ben Zander suggests in his book, “The Art of Possibility”.

This is not a book about males being at fault. We have all come to this place, in this time, for very good reasons and we will all go forward into the future with the power of our intentionality. Spending time or effort on blame and faultfinding is fruitless and not the goal. The goal is to offer inspiration, encouragement, instruction, and help for women. Every woman has unique qualities, her own original vision, and incredible determination. My wish is that each woman will claim her significance in this time and place.

There will be eight chapters. I have chosen these chapters because of a daily practice I have found helpful. The real joy is that I do these practices with my beloved husband. Picture two eighty-year olds turning to the eight directions in a slow, mindful meditation that is like a body poem. As we turn to the Southeast, I think of Existence itself. Turning to the Northwest, I  think of Caring and Compassion. Shifting to Southwest, I think about Creativity; to the Northeast, I am one with all in our Evolution; to the West, I ponder what it means to me to Play. Turning toward the East, I think of Learning; to the North, I name those I Love. The final turn is to the South, where I think of my contribution to my world through my Work.

We learned our practice from Fabian Maman, who founded Tama-Do Academy. Fabien’s work centers on healing through sound, color, and movement. But, that is a whole other subject. What I am telling you here is how I arrived at the eight chapters in this book and what they have to do with women moving into leadership in this century.

Chapter one begins with Existence itself and acknowledging the rights of all women to sovereignty over their lives. The invitation to women is to “Show Up”, risking our lives to be an integral part of the course of human events. Chapter two is about Caring, which means we will be concerned with the next phase of our brain development, the path of altruism and empathy. The imperative is to “Listen Up”, with accurate ears and intuitive awareness. In Chapter three, we will look at the Creativity of women and the potential for all women to add voices that speak for the good life of peace, prosperity, and harmony. This chapter calls for women to “Open Up” to their creative potential. Chapter four is a glimpse at the Aquarian Age of our Evolution as human beings in general, and women in particular. The message in this chapter is to “Grow Up”. Chapter Five, Play, speaks about the wisdom of not taking ourselves too seriously. . Therefore, the need is to “Lighten Up”. Chapter six, Learn, is about the joy of life long learning. The challenge is to “Wise Up”. In the last two chapters, we will remember Sigmund Freud’s concept of the vital function of human life, which is to love and to work. Love means relationship with self and others, so we “Link Up”. Work is what we contribute as we “Offer Up”.

My teacher, Dr. Jean Houston, said that all we have is our story. My work as a therapist became my way of helping others get their story into a form they liked. Each of the chapters holds stories and “how to” exercises for your development.

My career developed after twenty years of leadership as a mother. Eleanor Roosevelt writes eloquently about motherhood as a training ground for leadership. I believe women have been preparing to move into more visible roles as world leaders, especially, in the last half of the 20^th century. This belief developed in my own pursuit of learning psychology, theology, philosophy, and human development. I have taken and I have taught many courses, workshops, and seminars aimed at self-help and personal development. I have been a therapist and I have been “therapized”. (Don’t go to shrinks who don’t get shrunk.) I have experienced all kinds of personal growth and self help schemes. In all of those endeavors, the majority–even 90% — of the participants in all these life changing growth events were women–females–the fair sex. We actually must have been preparing for leadership in the Aquarian Age. So, my book is about all those women becoming “engaged” in the process of life on earth, as we enter the next 2500 years of evolution. That means, women will be leading the way, feminine style, for a sustainable future ecologically, economically, and socially.

“The Possible Woman Gets Engaged” is the sequel to my first self-published book, “The Possible Woman”. I invite you, a woman of possibilities, to think about yourself as a leader. If you are male, I invite you to think of those women who deserve your encouragement, your support, and your mentoring into leadership roles.
Chapter ONE

SHOW UP

The Traveler on her Life Journey

“You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Without you something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it. That’s what gives you dignity, that the whole existence will miss you. The sun and moon, the trees and birds and earth—everything in the universe will feel a small place is vacant which cannot be filled by anybody except you. This gives you a tremendous joy, a fulfillment that you are related to existence, and existence cares for you. Once you are clean and clear, you can see tremendous love falling on you from all directions.”—Osho

YOUR LIFE PURPOSE

You have come into this life with a purpose. Stop for a moment to ponder what your mission in life might be. Are you ready to be CEO, CIO, CFO, Doctor, Professor, Senator, Judge, or any title that you like? SHC was the job title chosen by Dianna (not her real name), a free-spirited woman who did all the necessary things in her small company. She made the coffee, kept the schedule, filed the papers, delivered the communications, and fixed the computers. She was the first one they thought of for any task. So, when her boss asked what title she preferred, Dianna answered whimsically, “SHC: Supreme High Commander”. Then, there was Georgia, another woman who did a different version of the necessary things. She built relationships, was present when there was a crisis, listened to everyone, was interested in everyone. She kept the machinery of human interaction flowing in her world. When asked what title she wanted, she said, “President”. Each woman was a leader who had her own style of engagement. Dianna was Dianna and Georgia was Georgia. They were engaged in living up to their maximum possibilities. Each of them took the risk of “showing up”.

Wisdom from the past

Women stand on the shoulders of the women who have blazed our trail. We inherit the knowledge and skills of our grandmothers. Thousands of women have been named in our history from the time of the early goddess cultures through our recent story of militant feminism. The evolution of women in the twenty-first century has been constructed from the lives of these forebears. We can remember a few examples as illustration of our gratitude for all women who have lived since the beginning of time. The wisdom that has accrued from the experience and existence of them is now the harvest for this generation.

Martyred women, like Joan of Arc, sacrificed herself for her cultural leadership cause. Hero women, like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, met the need of her generation for female rights. Courageous women, like Eleanor Roosevelt, found a leadership voice from the template of her time. Intelligent women, like Benizir Bhuto, exercised her rightful place as leader of her country and died in that cause. Their stories are in our DNA. We share the make-up of their bodies, the pain of their suffering, and the outrage of their treatment. We are heirs to their intellect, their determination, their survival and thrival. Their wisdom, born of their experience, is passed on to us.

One of my workshops from the past was called “From Rage to Courage, a Woman’s Journey Into Wholeness”. My observation, based on the stories of my clients, was that when a woman got mad, her rage could quickly escalate into monumental proportions. It was as if one woman, feeling the pain of anger, would tune into the river of the pain body of those who were burned at the stake as witches and all martyred, enslaved, abused, and captive women from ages past. At the same time, the men in her life, including her medical doctor, often found justification in hormones. The positive story from these mad women was that when she got upset enough, she began to do something about it. She became a leader. So it was with the woman who started Mothers Against Drunk Driving. In Joan of Arc fashion, she addressed the problem of her culture. The difference revealed a new story. Maybe now we won’t be put to death for our heroism. Or will we?

I had the privilege of spending time with Benizir Bhutto. She told me of the problems with her country and her sorrow about the plight of women. She and I shared our belief in the Life Force, which might be called God. I found her to be smart, well educated, beautiful, and visionary. Her tragic death brought great sadness. And, I wonder if we can make the world safe for women to be visionary leaders?

We are here to heal the past; to envision the future; and to create a peaceful, joyful existence. Such an existence will not only bring women to parity but release men to be fully human and fully alive. Each individual woman is significant and unique. It is that uniqueness and significance coupled with the oneness and sameness of all life that we are to engage. One woman engaged in the process of evolutionary change will make a difference.

Individuation

There is no other like you. Existence needs you. You are the Possible Woman, with your own individual differences and individual strengths. Your uniqueness is about the way you create your life—your style. It is apparent in the way you like to live, to work, and to interact. Every interaction shows your style. Who you really are is revealed in every conversation. We, who have been doing Possible Woman seminars, retreats, events, and cruises for twenty years, have asked two questions, “Who are you?” and “What could you be?”

So, what is a leader? Specifically, what is a leader who happens to be female? More specifically, what are the possibilities for women becoming leaders in the United States of America and in our whole world? What kind of leader will the Possible Woman be? The answer to the question will be found in the ultimate development of individual women, who will imprint their style of leadership on those they lead.

Types of Leaders

A servant leader rallies those who follow to 1) higher and better performance, 2) to more virtue in character, and 3) to satisfaction of human needs. These three components and outcomes reflect good leadership from either gender. A leader is in position at the front, the vanguard, with a comprehensive view of what is demanded for her enterprise to be successful. She inspires loyalty, and has a calming effect in the face of fears. Her enterprise may be her family. It may be a factory, school, church, or country. Whatever the enterprise, she can exert her influence.

Visionary leaders

Leaders can be of two types. There are those visionary leaders who see with sharp clarity the future and what might be. They think in terms of possibilities and they are dedicated to the creative seer role that shows the way, that guides the family, the group, the corporation, the nation, or the world. Such a leader is endowed with the qualities of the goddess Athena. Such goddesses and gods from Greek, Egyptian, and Roman history were precursors for the science of psychology. We can learn about our personalities by studying them. Athena was the muse for Odysseus and she invented things like the plow and other crafts. Athena is a prototype of the visionary woman who can see where we need to go, she can lend her voice to those who find the way, and she will lead by her brilliant ideas, plans, and strategies.

Managerial Leaders

Another type of leader is the managerial kind. This woman is equipped to bring forth the goodness and strengths of others. She sees talent, she is optimistic, she has faith in people, and she knows how to bring out the best in those she manages. This type of leader is a master of task completion. This is sometimes a mother type, fashioned after the goddess Demeter. She is nurturing, selfless, giving, and caring. Her goal is to be compassionate, to help those who work for her to find their right seat on the airplane, to get into what they like to do best and to encourage them to continue learning and growing. She is a great mentor. She holds the family or the organization together. She is a developer of people, whether they be male or female.

Either one of these types of women will perform in leadership capacities provided they make the choice of being whole-heartedly engaged. This means responding to the needs around them. Buckminster Fuller said, “When you don’t know what you want to do, look around and see what needs to be done. Choose from that list and get busy doing it!” A fully engaged woman can make things happen. She gets things done. She simply chooses to “show up”. She puts herself out there. Showing up in fullest mind, body, and spirit is the challenge. She can begin by not taking a back seat. She can risk finding her own voice in world affairs. She is you. And, you can choose to never succumb to the “Poor Me” victimism voiced by men and women alike when things don’t go their way.

Here and Now

To show up is to come into the workplace with enthusiasm, fully engaged, ready to be there in the now moment. The now moment is really all we ever have. To live in the past is to invite depression. What might have been, “if only” this or that, and the anger over past crimes against one’s personhood, are at the head of the list of ways to justify not showing up. Or, the alternative might be living in the future, which guarantees worry and anxiety. “Now” is equivalent to eternity. Living in the “now” is the place where engagement happens and we enter the flow of life in Self-fulfillment.

The Clock of Awareness

Women have a body, which is experienced through its behavior; women have a brain, which is experienced through thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. One simple metaphor is to see yourself as a clock of awareness. Twelve o’clock high is the place where beliefs are stored in our simple picture. Those beliefs lead to three o’clock where thoughts transpire. Thoughts include images and words. Then six o’clock is the place to lodge emotion, energy in motion or the flow of feelings. And at nine o’clock, imagine your behaviors showing up. Behavior is little more than the words we speak, the tone of voice with which we speak those words, our facial expression, our body postures, gestures, and movements. Feelings can provoke behavior. If you want to know how you got the feelings you are experiencing, look at the thoughts you have been having. And, if you really want to know what sets it all in motion, examine your belief system. One quick way of knowing what your beliefs are is to observe your behavior for our behavior, verbal or non-verbal, gives away our beliefs. What we sincerely and deeply believe, we will create. Today’s woman can change beliefs. From subservience to real service; from controller to developer; and from compliant follower to courageous leader—these are growth challenges for the Possible Woman.

I can remember the woman I met with who wanted to save her marriage, yet she kept taking her wedding band off and putting it back on during the session. Calling her attention to that gesture gave her a chance to see what she really believed about her marriage. She was surprised to know that her non-verbal behavior was speaking to her unexpressed feelings. Her revelations led her to a new answer to the questions, “Who am I? and What can I be? She found what she wanted. It is through our desires that we form our intentions. Our intentions set in motion our design for life. And, our life is our story lived daily, chapter by chapter.

Your Story

If you are ready to “show up”, then get ready for a time of real self-study. Ownership of the creation of one’s life story, acknowledgment that we have the power to change our life story, and thoughtfulness or mindfulness about how we want that story to proceed are some of the new awarenesses that will bring about your presence in the now moment. “Presencing” is a new verb. It means to be there in fullest mind, body, and spirit. It means to claim the moment, feeling what you feel, being aware of your thoughts, observing your behavior without blame or judgment, and allowing yourself to take the high road in your Self creation.

You can join what I call the triple A, becoming your own Author, Actor, and Audience of your life story. I invite you to show up, live in the present moment, stop all blame and self-pity, and assume your rightful place as a positive force in your world. You can do that if you elevate your awareness of beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Awareness is the doorway to growth. Like a searchlight, your awareness will guide your thoughts. The part of you that is aware is that deep sacred “presence” from the soul level of your being. The essence of who you are is held in the depths of your awareness, which is beyond your beliefs-thoughts-feelings-behavior self.

Aquarius

Spiritual growth for a woman ready to show up involves a look at the past. The distant past includes such archetypes as the great Sophia, the Divine feminine. Sophia was alluded to as feminine face of God. It is no secret that we have been in an age of Patriarchal dominance. The two or three thousand years of the Piscean Age are recorded evidence of our time in that stage of human history. The Divine Feminine has been “off-stage” for more than two thousand years, but not a part of mainstream religions on the planet. Conditions in the early years of this century suggest, to me, that we are expanding to inclusive language where the feminine is coming into our consciousness now. Her presence expressed through female clergy, women prophets, healers, and authors is a force from Infinite Intelligence. Beliefs and ideas carry energy and the energy is increasingly away from patriarchal dominance. A current example of that idea came from Dr. Sandra Harper, President of Our Lady of the Lake University in Baton Rouge, LA. She told me of the astonishment at a Texas University when more women than men showed up for the veterinarian medicine curriculum. The faculty was buzzing with shock and awe.

Real Worth

To show up in full form, to be aware of one’s intrinsic worth, to value one’s efforts, and to place a monetary expectation on the market place for those efforts is the task for individual women. In my growing consciousness, I discovered that I erroneously equated a person’s worth with the amount they earned. Traditionally, women have been showing up to do the “necessary” things such as childbirth, lactation, home making, child rearing, teaching, and tending the sick. Who decided that those activities were worth no money? When do women decide that they are seven figure beings? Showing up to claim our rightful inheritance, our rightful share of world wealth, and our rightful place in world power is imperative in this century.

What does one woman want? The age-old mystery question, answered in some fairy tales by the words, “sovereignty over her own life”—that’s what a woman wants. So, perhaps in some quarters of the world, we have now achieved sovereignty over our lives but are we paid accordingly?

From Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth (p 40) Feeling “I amness” is like the Joy of Being. Being must be felt, it cannot be thought. It is a knowing rather than a belief.

Awareness

Sometimes, when I am approaching sleep, just before entering that state of dropping off, I have this incredible sense of oneness, of being held in the womb of the Universe, the Arms of God, of being totally safe and completely taken care of. This is close to the revelation of Beingness itself. This is about the consciousness of being alive, of existing, of knowing that I am part of a bigger Whole that I do not comprehend through thought. This is not a belief, it is a knowing. I remember C. G. Jung, the great psychologist, saying, when asked, “Dr. Jung, do you believe in God?” answered, “I don’t believe, I know”.

So, this is the starting point, in any woman’s attempt to reach her maximum development. Works for men, too. Coming to this great sense of being, aware of one’s existence, saying to yourself, “I am” is a fascinating, remarkable quest and the most basic of all our intentions. This is what I mean when I say, “Show Up!” You are not accidental. Without you, something is missing. There is no other like you. You are alive and you are necessary to life.

THE JOY IS IN EXISTENCE ITSELF

Last week was a whirlwind of activity in Georgia.  I am privileged to continue my work as a Strengths coach and counselor to InterfaceFlor, Inc. Most of my work is on the telephone, by appointment, yet I love the times when I travel and can meet face-to-face with these friends.  When I go to the Interface facility in LaGrange, GA, I try to work in as many meetings and events as I can.  This trip was for another Tribal Gathering, this one for the hospitality industry.  We met wonderful people, all ages, and all facets of the hotel business and a good time was had by all.  The next day, I held several group meetings and our final day was a very satisfying meeting.  This was not a meeting-as-usual, but a “reflecting” with some 40 leaders in the Interface family.  I was gratified by the response of each individual, taking ownership and leadership in their own style and Strengths-Path.  As I move into my wise elder years, I feel confident in the next generations capability to craft the future, based on the best patterns from the past.

This post, today, is to pay tribute to Miriam Lukken.  I had the privilege of meeting her through Amy Lukken, my friend and colleague at Interface.  Miriam’s book, Mrs. Dunwoody’s Excellent Instructions for Homekeeping, was her gift to me.  I have been scanning and browsing this morning while Paul makes his broiled grapefruit for breakfast.  One quote that is so meaningful to me, I want to share with everyone:

“In a letter to a grandchild: Mrs. Dunwoody wrote, “Have nothing in your home that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.  Home is a sacred place for you and your family.  Home interprets heaven.  It is heaven for beginners.”

Living in hotel rooms for several days reminded me that we carry “home” with us wherever we are.  I always unpack and move in to the hotel room, making it home for the few days away.  That keeps a certain kind of helpful continuity in my life.  Returning to our home here in Buda, TX, I feel the joy of the heaven we have created here.  Heaven for beginners–that is what home is.

Thank you, Miriam, for your gift of writing your book, sharing the real truth of how we can live together, learning how to love, and creating “beginner’s heaven”.  Mrs. Dunwoody was a survivor-thriver of the war between the states, and I, a survivor of the great depression in the 30’s, share the belief that order and stability can be made through homekeeping.   “Keeper of the home” is a great aspiration for anyone, any gender, any age.  It allows us to thrive.

I am a fan of Don Miguel Ruiz.  We have followed the philosophy in his “Four Agreements” for many years.  Today as a new year begins, it seems fitting to recommend his next book, The Fifth Agreement.  The concept, according to Ruiz and his son Jose, is that everything we do is based on agreements we have made — agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, and with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. With these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible.  His idea of agreements corresponds to my notion of beliefs.  Now he is adding an agreement that is dear to my heart.  As an advocate of deep listening, this fifth agreement is right down my alley of beliefs.   I am copying words written in the advertising promotion, which is a quick and easy way to review all five:

First,
BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Second,
DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Third,
DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Fourth,
ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are tired as opposed to well rested. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Fifth,
BE SKEPTICAL, BUT LEARN TO LISTEN
Don’t believe yourself or anybody else. Use the power of doubt to question everything you hear: Is it really the truth? Listen to the intent behind the words, and you will understand the real message.
The Four Agreements slowly helps you to recover your authentic Self, and the real you starts to awaken. With The Fifth Agreement comes the complete acceptance of yourself just the way you are, and the complete acceptance of everybody else just the way they are. The reward is your eternal happiness. The Fifth Agreement is made with words, of course, but its meaning and intent is beyond the words. The Fifth Agreement is ultimately about seeing your whole reality with the eyes of truth, without words.

Make the Five Agreements your way of life — love yourself, enjoy life, and make your personal world a dream of heaven. And, by changing your world, you are changing the world.

As don Miguel says, “By practicing the Five Agreements, what you are really doing is respecting everything in creation. You are respecting your dream; you are respecting everybody else’s dream. If you use these tools, your effort is really for everyone, because your joy, your happiness, your peace, and your heaven are contagious. When you are happy, the people around you are happy too, and it inspires them to change their own world.”

This way of life is entirely possible, and it’s in your hands. The change begins with you. Why not start now?

My hope is that your 2010 will be the best ever and that you will make good use of anything that promotes your spiral of growth, including this new book, The Five Agreements.

Consider the circle.  That shape has been a universal symbol for God.  It suggests the infinite, never-ending inclusion of all.  Many years ago, I learned to deliver a curriculum, “Magic Circle”, to schools. It was designed by Dr. Valo Palomares and his ex-wife, Geraldine.  The structured circle sessions helped children feel at home in the affective domain–the world of feelings.  From that training in Magic Circle and my own doctoral dissertation (an experiment about emotions and our language of origin), I came to value the use of a circle as a place for groups to participate.  My Women’s Wisdom group always sits in a circle.  Each gets a fair share of the time, there are no “put-downs” and we listen to each other respectfully.  So, I recommend that you hold meetings in the circle, much like the legend of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table.  There is a chance we can create Camelot again.  It works in families, in churches, and in business meetings.

To illustrate the circle model, imagine a group of adults gathered together.  The subject can be any current crisis/opportunity.  Whatever the subject these two questions set the stage for discussion:   

Where have we been and where are we going?

What is the future that wants to emerge?

Background thoughts:  Our view of the world has changed.  All our opportunities are now global.  Seeing our circular Planet Earth from the moon gave us a new image of the fragile nature of our world and the enormous responsibility we have as humans who make conscious choices. We have become an Earth tribe.

We humans have a propensity to higher consciousness and greater freedom. We naturally tend to expand. We are quite possibly evolving evolution. Today, this means expansion of ideas through awareness of the connectedness of all life. Global reality and global crisis requires that we look for newness to emerge; that we learn from failure and move toward best practices and solutions.

We are serving the needs of future generations—tomorrow’s children. We can use sustainable methods. From the past, we have an example: the Iroquois nation brought peace among warring tribes through such a meeting of leaders. They sat in a circle where each was given time to talk and the others listened respectfully (Benjamin Franklin reported how remarkable was their deep listening—“not at all like the British House of Commons where everyone shouts and interrupts”). At the end of the meeting of the tribal council, they had found new solutions, which brought them to their objective—peaceful co-existence.

We are moving from an age of power and control into an expanded, advanced age of emergence and creativity. So, we are asking your answer to the question: “What is the future that wants to emerge?”

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world—indeed it is the only thing that ever has.”–Margaret Mead

Conversations in an atmosphere of acceptance and safety will inspire creativity. Creativity becomes contagious and serves the common good better than guilt or fear. The structure is circular—a round table—where all are equal and welcome.

In this circle, all are included and all are valued. The take-away will be known only after we have offered our ideas. The solutions are heretofore unknown and undefined. This is emergent phenomenon and it will by definition be creative. Our takeaways will be what we have generated together in these few hours of our time together in dialogue. Each speaker will present ideas and best practices. Each will challenge you, the listeners, with questions. These questions will stimulate our design iterations.

Perspectives: How does Nature create and emerge in ongoing evolution?

What designs do we need that will create a habitat for learning?

How can we best use the leading edge technology toward planetary connectedness ?

What changes must we make individually and internally to foster a new business culture that includes social sustainability?

Someone asked for my latest reading list. Here are the books Paul and I are studying these days:

1. Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book for the laughs.

2. The Living Universe by Duane Elgin, which gets us into cosmic thinking.

3. The Spontaneous Healing of Beliefs by Gregg Braden provokes us to examine our beliefs.

4. The Art of Extreme Self Care by Cheryl Richardson is her latest book on self-care and self-love.

5. The Heavens Declare, The Dove in the Stone, and The Web in the Sea by Alice O. Howell, whose lovely grandmotherly approach to all things of the soul are juicy treasures to read. She is my favorite Jungian writer on Astrology, which I am still studying. After 10 or more years, I know little.

6. In preparation for Laurence Hillman’s workshop at Red Corral Ranch in September, I am reviewing old books on Astrology: The New Way to Learn Astrology by Basil Fearrington and Intuitive Astrology by Elizabeth Rose Campbell. Alignments and Planets at Play by Laurence himself.

7. Living Your Strengths by Winseman and Clifton and How Full Is Your Bucket? By Don Clifton and Tom Rath, and Strengths Leadership by Rath are ongoing books I use in Strengths Coaching for Interface Flor, Inc.  and others.

8. The Dumbest Generation by Mark Bauerlein (How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future) is comfort for parents of the under 20-age group.

9. Excuses Begone! By Wayne Dyer summarizes what I am coming to believe—that our beliefs actually create our life. Another book that lead me to that thinking is The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton.

10. Breakthrough by Suzanne Somers enlightens us on the need for bio-identical hormone therapy.

11. If It’s Not Food, Don’t Eat It! Is a no-nonsense guide to an eating-for-health lifestyle, which we are attempting to follow.

That same person who asked about our reading list, wanted to know how we manage the time to read all these books. One of my top five Strengths is “learner” and that makes reading or any kind of knowledge very motivational to me. I hunger to learn and pursue learning like it is candy. So, any trip to a good bookstore is like a trip to a candy store. We have evolved into routines that support reading and study. Just as homework was a part of early school life, so the continual learning cycle is a daily process. Our schedule simply includes books. Some of the above we are literally reading to each other. Some we read in solitude. Our morning looks like this: 6:30 rise and shine, then our daily 7:00 a.m. apple and coffee or tea while we read and journal. Then breakfast and exercise. We both get to our work at around 9 or 10 a.m. Lunch is separate and on our own. Afternoons, Paul works on his Play Therapy project and I take calls. At 5:00 we stop for Happy Hour, which may be a glass of wine or cold water. The day ends with dinner and a walk around the neighborhood. Ideally we play a game of cards at 9 p.m. and go on to bed by 10:30.

So, there you have a day in the life of Paul and Marj Barlow at our new home in Buda, Texas. I would love to read about your day, also. I am so happy when I get to know you better. Thanks for reading this and I am hoping you will respond.