‘The Possible Woman’

THE SPIRAL OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

THE SPIRAL OF CONSCIOUSNESS

(Summary notes)
By Marjorie R. Barlow, 2008
These are my notes from a longer version of our growth toward consciousness. I have observed these turnings in thousands of clients over the past 40 years. Most of the people I have met in counseling were in a state of being asleep. By that, I mean their consciousness was still in the stage of belief that all that happened was being caused from the outside. There was little recognition that reality is generated from the inside. So, I invited them to come to some form of awakening through heightened awareness. The spiral moves in ever widening, higher turns. From Asleep all the way to Authenticity, growth was happening and consciousness expanding. I was honored to participate in that process. It was awesome and inspiring to witness.
ASLEEP: A state of ego protection. Persecutor-rescuer-victim roles. Defense mechanisms. Aloneness. Separation. FEAR (dark, negative forboding). Problems solved through control, comply, quit. Need to be right. Belief: Life is created from outside forces. Life is serious. Emotions responding to others behavior. (usually negative like mad or sad or powerless). The “pain body” is real (see Eckart Tolle’s books).

AWARE: The doorway to awakening is awareness. Through the senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch), we take in stimulus from our world, adding meaning based on past experience and learning.
Grasp of the clock of awareness (beliefs to thoughts to feelings to behavior). Awareness of the witness self. Participant-Observer expansion.

AWAKE: Presence. Now. Sensory and vibrational. Energy in motion.
Ability to leave the past and depression. Ability to give up worry about the future and its anxiety. Stillness. Reflection. Meditation.

ALIVE: A change in the meaning we give to outside events, places, people, and things. Growing sense of soul and purpose. Physical-emotional-mental-spiritual self ownership. Recognition that relationships are guides to aliveness. Transparent. Non-defensive. Non-controlling.

ATTRACTING: The power of intention. Thoughts, practiced again and again become beliefs. Belief: We magnetize to us what we think about, negative or positive. Taking charge of the journey. Joining the Triple A. Author, actor, and audience of one’s own life story. Creating the drama according to highest possibility, most magnanimous creating, and espousing abundance instead of scarcity.

ACCEPTING: The great peace. It’s all an “inside” job. Acceptance of what is. Letting go of control. Letting go of being controlled (compliance). Approaching the true meaning of love. Love is the warm acceptance of self, others, and the world just as it exists. Ownership of oneself, including 100% responsibility for beliefs-thoughts-feelings-behavior. Recognition that what comes from outside has been created from inside. Embracing voluntary simplicity.

AUTHENTIC: Soul incarnes into body. True self. Essence of Being. Unique and significant. One of a kind. One with all. One with Life. The many and the one. Values are life centered. Kyrotic time instead of Chronos.

ALL IN ALL: The Life Force of which we are all a part. Evolving the Universe.

THE POWER OF MUSIC

Monday, May 5th, 2008

I remember the day I added Music to my list of health principles. My husband Paul and I were driving to a meeting. Neither one of us were in a mood to attend this event. My body was exhausted, my mind was tired and burnt out. Paul had had a stressful week and he also was less than enthusiastic. My head burned, my eyes were dull, my conversation had degenerated to grunts and groans. My throat was getting scratchy, and my body was sending me flu-like symptoms. True to our habit of being dependable, we pressed on, taking our bodies for granted without much awareness or regard. In an attempt to help, I searched for a tape to play on the car stereo system. I chose Don Campbell’s audio cassette tape entitled, “Heal Yourself With Your Own Voice”. We began to listen and to follow Don’s instructions for toning. He told us to use our voice to “tone” the vowels. Paul joined me in a loving act of support for my caterwauling. There we were, driving down the highway at 70 miles an hour, howling “AAAAAAAA-EEEEEEE-IIIIIIII-OOOOOO-UUUUUUUU”, and we began to laugh. We continued through the entire tape, following instructions to the letter. Fifty miles down the road, to my amazement, my energy returned full strength. Paul reported the same effect. Our mood had shifted toward positive, but more than that, a mysterious shift had taken place in my physical feelings. My throat didn’t feel sore, my flu symptoms were gone, my head had cleared, and my body felt great. We were both transformed into the prime of good, healthy body and mind and spirit. We were into a special new kind of intimacy. We had changed in a profound way. The results were that we actually enjoyed the meeting. We drove home in a nice, mellowed out state. In addition, the power of the effect lasted several days.

This event is one of many illustrations of the true power of music. Music changes our mood. There is growing evidence that music provides healing. Don Campbell has compiled an anthology of these possibilities in his book, Music: Physician for Times to Come. I first met Don Campbell when he was serving as accompanist for Jean Houston in her seminars. Jean’s work is in the nature of participatory theater which is life changing and stretches her students into becoming all that they can be. Don’s music supplied background support and stimulation. At that time, Don was also using many of Jean’s exercises and methods for his own life development. I heard him say to Dr. Houston, “This stuff works!” The stuff he referred to included her ingenious exercise on paradoxical walking. (See the note for directions to this). Don told me later that he did this exercise while he wrote his book, “The Musical Brain”. The writing flowed and he finished the book in a very short time. My relationship to Don Campbell has continued and I am fascinated at the way in which he has proven, time and again, the power of music.

Toning, chanting, speaking, singing, screaming, humming, grunting are a few of the ways in which we make music with our own voices. Campbell’s story of healing his life threatening blood clot in his own brain is a miracle of the power of one’s own voice and the use of humming. His story of healing is told in detail in his best selling book, The Mozart Effect.

Whether we play music in some band, make our own music, or simply listen to music, there is an effect on our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. At the foundation for good health is the concept of belonging. In Trinidad, the native children play their music on old steel drums made from oil barrels. Each person anticipates “Panorama”, which is the great festival on the island where all the steel bands ride on floats and play their music for several days. It is their way to belong. It creates a sense of family.
In my mother’s family, music was our best style of communing. Each of the six Kiker children played an instrument. Grandma Kiker would wash the dishes after their meals and her instructions to her children were, “Now you know what you must do.” This meant that they were to entertain her while she worked by playing music for her. And so it was that when we attended family reunions, each grandchild was expected to perform. We didn’t sit around and visit verbally. We made music and our communication was melodic, rhythmic, and very loving. It was our way of belonging. To this day, I feel good when I go to a home and see a piano there. That home seems impoverished to me if musical instruments are absent. Music is in my very bones, my DNA, my life, and is vital to my health. While it seems a mystery, I can personally attest to the power of music to balance in life.

My principles of health were formed in the years I was serving my clients as a professional therapist. I taught stress management classes, worked with local health organizations, providing hypnosis, guided imagery, and relaxation training. I had seen many real life examples of the connections between the mind and the body. The six principles of health which were the basis for my series of lessons all start with the letter M. Mouth, Meditation, Movement, Mission, Mentors, and Mirth. Today, the seventh of these is Music.
These health principles became my standard lecture. The idea that 1) the mouth had something to do with the way we stay healthy or get sick. What we eat, drink, take, smoke, or SAY has a lot to do with our physical and mental health. 2) Meditation in any form will allow our minds to be at ease. A mind at peace sets the stage for the body to return to healthy balance. 3) Mission means we have something to live for. Good evidence exists that when people retire with nothing to do, no contribution to make, they tend to get sick and die. 4) Mentors are important to our health. Life long learning is associated with life long health. An open, active mind prevents the atrophy of our brain cells. A mentor is someone who provides information, encouragement, counselling, and relationship. 5) Movement of mind and body is necessary. The old saying, “Move it or lose it” applies to mind as well as body. 6) Mirth, laughter, merriment, a positive attitude correlates with good health. Norman Cousins’ books speak to this principle. Positive mental attitude is positively correlated with good health.

Then came that drive where Paul and I toned the vowels. I knew I must add music to the list of health principles. Our bodies, according to quantum theory, are vibrational instruments. The heavy matter of our physical bodies vibrates at a certain frequency. Our emotional and mental “bodies” are vibratory, also. We are energy in motion. Our very existence is based on this prinicple. So, since we are vibrational beings, health principle number seven, Music, was the last on my list of the M’s of Health. I have witnessed the power of music to restore balance in our flow of energy; the power of music to establish moods; the power of music to change our moods; and the power of our own voices to create vibrational healing.

We continue to learn about the power of music. Currently, a group of my friends and I are hosting Don Campbell in Corpus Christi, Texas. We have created a year-long program featuring Don in his work with therapeutic sound. Information about our program, Corpus Christi Therapeutic Sound School, can be found by contacting us through our web site, CC Sound School.

Another program involving music and healing has been created by Fabien Maman of Boulder, Colorado. In this program, we went to LeCourmette, France for training in healing through sound, color, and movement. My husband and I practice daily the Chi Gong (Tao Yin Fa) method of movement as Fabien teaches it in his Tama Do Academy. We have also learned how to do acupuncture using tuning forks instead of needles. We have a set of chimes which are suspended over our massage table . We play the chimes in conjunction with touching body on certain acupressure points, while bathing the body in colored lights corresponding to the seven chakra energy centers. We have experienced miraculous transformations in mind, body, and spirit from these treatments. I am more convinced now than ever that music is a source of great power. Through the experience of music in its many forms, we can restore balance to the flow of energy in our bodies. Further power releases us to travel the spiral of expanded, evolving potential of the human body and mind, working together toward a vibrational new stage. Perhaps we are touching the edges of the real Aquarian age, where we will become our true essential selves in new and vibrant form.

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE

Saturday, May 3rd, 2008

A song from my past
was “Accentuate the Positive; Eliminate the Negative”. One of the lines said, “Don’t mess with Mister In-Between”. We have had many years of remediation of weaknesses, attempting to eliminate the negative. We look at the negative and follow a disease model where we catch people when they are wrong. If pointing out mistakes was effective, how many parents would never repeat themselves when they say, “Stop doing that!” The unfortunate truth is that whatever that parent wanted the child to stop is probably now going to be done again. If nothing else, the child now knows how to get the parents’ attention.

SHIFT HAPPENS
This article is about a shift in what we accentuate–what we focus on–what we pay attention to. We have known for a long time that whatever we pay attention is likely to be repeated. Therefore, we will do better in our attempt to practice great human development if we focus on what is good, what is positive, what is right about our fellow human beings. Since people don’t really change that much, why not find what is positive and build on that?
A TURNING POINT
The Positive Approach describes a monumental change that has taken place in the last fifty years. This change has happened in all the human sciences (biology, anthropology, psychology, sociology, theology, physiology, etc.). The big turn around reveals that we are no longer fixated on faults and failing. We are not looking at disease to discover health; not studying divorce to create happy marriages; and no longer trying to correct our weaknesses in the workplace.

STORY
The Positive Approach is a call to discover and share the true stories of people and organizations at their best, finding the joy of success rather than the pathology of abuses and restraints.

DREAMS
The Positive Approach invites the expression of your hopes and dreams, with the realization that what we focus on becomes our reality

NOW
The Positive Approach claims the power of now, recognizes quantum reality; and “gets it” : that we create successful living from our true essence.

WHO ARE YOU?
The Positive Approach is your invitation to continue unfolding your essential true self. Looking at joy and success, our uniquely individual stories unfold in the light of our best potential, our highest thought, and our grandest feelings. Expressing our hopes and dreams in the positive form is the call to creation of what we can be. Creation of the your best possible self is actually possible. That possibility can be realized through the genius management of managers, parents, or bosses who follow the positive approach to human development. Those guiding lights can, on a daily basis, invite you to know your strengths and manage your weaknesses.

MANAGE WEAKNESSES
We are learning to manage the weaknesses and give the primary energy to building on the strengths, envisioning and creating success. When we are trying to operate outside our strengths, we can do three things. First, we can use the Strengths we do have. Second, we can enlist the help of a friend or co-worker who has the needed Strengths. Third, we can ignore the weakness and simply go forward. Trying to remediate the weakness is the negative approach and it does not work any better than any other system of punishment for mistakes. I heard Donald O. Clifton say many times, “The absence of disease is not the same as the presence of health.” Health is very different from just not being sick. Strengths are very different from just not making mistakes or fixing weaknesses. Positive growth and development helps us play from our strengths instead of pursuing impossible perfectionistic behavior where we get everything right!

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE A HAPPY CHILDHOOD
I cut my therapist’s teeth on a theory called Transactional Analysis. We learned that the injunctions set us up to believe we were not enough. These injunctions were stated as Don’ts (Don’t feel, Don’t think, Don’t be yourself, etc.) and they were not spoken but were sent by the non-verbal expressions from parents reacting to misbehavior; the counter-injunctions were taught, usually spoken, to compensate for all those “Don’ts”. The counter-injunctions were also neurotic even though they were expressed as “Do’s”. They were the basic rules to live by so that we could alleviate our self doubt and all our fears. These counter-injunctions were false promises but we desperately attempted to obey them. The implied message was:
“You will be in favor if you will DO this: 1)Be Perfect; 2) Be Pleasing; 3) Be Strong; 4) Be Careful; 5)Try Hard; and 6) Hurry Up.

HOW
Here is an encouraging word: New positive permission says 1) You are OK even when you make mistakes; 2) you can learn what pleases you; 3)you can lighten up and not carry the whole load; 4) you can take risks; 5) you are free to stop “trying” and go ahead and just do it; and 6) you have the right to live your life according to your own time table. These permissions can come from inside you instead of coming from some new parent person on the outside.
THE GOOD NEWS AND THE BAD NEWS
The Positive Approach claims the power of now, recognizes quantum reality; and “gets it” : that we create successful living from our true essence. Our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behavior are 100% our own individual responsibility. Awareness of these four major parts of who we are will open the door to success in becoming all we can be.  You and you alone own your beliefs, your thoughts, your feelings, and your behavior.  That is both the good news and the bad!

YOUR ENTELECHY
The Positive Approach says that your true essence is something good. A Greek word, entelechy, is used to describe our dynamic purposiveness. It is the entelechy of a pear seed to become a fruitful pear tree.  Jean Houston says, “Entelechy is all about the possibilities encoded in each of us. For example it is the entelechy of an acorn to be an oak tree, of a baby to be a grown-up, of a popcorn kernel to be a fully popped entity, and of you and me to be God only knows what. ”

The Positive Approach is your invitation to continue unfolding your essential true self. Looking at joy and success, our uniquely individual stories unfold in the light of our best potential, our highest thought, and our grandest feelings. Expressing our hopes and dreams in the positive form is the call to creation of what we can be. What we can be takes positive form through the organizations we serve. We can discover and create wisdom in the workplace, based on stories from the past, the creative genius of the future, and the power of now. We have realized the futility of the old path, where we searched out weakness, faults and failure. The disease model is crumbling and we are on the cutting edge of a positive revolution.

POSITIVE OPTIMISM
This revolution will facilitate the coming of the next industrial age. It can usher in a Strengths Based Culture in all institutions and organizations. A Strengths Based Culture will harness the inventive imagination of engaged workers and managers to achieve revolutionary cultural goals.  We have enough talent to heal this planet.  We can optimistically and positively draw out the best in each other and achieve the next era of human evolution, where we might just learn to live together in peace.

An Event: POSSIBLE WOMAN VISION QUEST

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

May 16-18, 2008

For smart, quick, spirited women who are looking for a weekend away from a busy and full daily life. If you are interested in your own growth, your self-awareness, your life purpose, and if you want to do that in an atmosphere of fun, light, love, and laughter, then please do join us.

Marj Barlow has done these weekends since the middle 1980’s. Women who attend say things like, “…I was changed……for good”; “….gave me hope”; “….restored my positive disposition”; “…..a refreshing break… new beginning.” “….inspired..energized….”

We meet on Friday night for dinner and first session, which centers on the topic, “Where did we come from?” All day Saturday, we explore our roles, our goals, our joys, and our potential. The Saturday dinner and big event are where your own talents shine. (If you aren’t inclined to perform, then you are needed in the kindly audience.)

Dress comfortably, bring your journal, art supplies if you want, bathing suit if you wish, and yourself, just as you are.

The official schedule:
Friday, May 16, 4:00 p.m. check in at
617 Log Country Cove, Burnett, TX 78611
(Leanin’ K is the name of the cabin—find your bed and your roommates)
6:00 p.m. dinner
7:00 – 10:00 p.m. first session
Saturday, May 17, breakfast, lunch, and dinner (times to be decided)
9:00 a.m. – 12:00 noon second session
2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. third session
Evening: dinner and celebration
Sunday, May 18, 9:00 – 11:30 - final session followed by lunch
12:00 noon check out

Fee: $300 (includes lodging and 6 meals with coffee, tea; bring your own snacks)

Directions to Log Country Cove: Highway 281 to Marble Falls, TX;
Turn west on RM 1431 (travel 11 miles)
Turn right at RM-2342 (travel 2 miles)
Turn left at LOG COUNTRY COVE

To register for this weekend seminar, contact Marj.

When We Are One

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

Something happens when women get together and share ideas, thoughts, opinions, and all the elements of a busy life. We seem to have something in common. Our commonalities are greater than our differences. We all breathe, we all came from a woman, we share the women’s mysteries, and we can bond like no other collection of living creatures. (more…)