Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D.

In the year 2000, Paul was visiting after the service at All Saints Episcopal Church in Corpus Christi, where we were members.  The choir director, Arlene Long, was telling us she was going to France to study a healing method, using sound, color, and movement.  She was enthusiastic and her description of the instruments, the methods and the teachings of Fabien Maman made me ask if she thought it might help Paul’s hearing loss.  She said it might do that, at which point we pointed to Paul and said, “You are going to France!”  He went, with five women, for the two weeks of level one training.  He came back with renewed life, vigor, and seemed to be able to hear much better.  We invited Fabien and his partner, Terres Unsoeld, to come to Corpus Christi for classes that we offered.  Terres taught healing using color and flower essences.  Alice Bailey’s Seven Rays are integral in her methods.   Fabien is from a lineage of rabbis, so he includes the tree of life (the Sefirot), he also connects all life from eight stars to the cells in our bodies.  His story starts with his career as a jazz guitarist.  He and his band were on tour and arrived in Tokyo, exhausted and weary.  They asked the hotel to arrange for the band members to get massages and were sent an acupuncturist instead.  After the acupuncture  treatment, they were so revived, played so brilliantly, and continued their tour in high health that Fabien decided to leave his music career and go to China to study acupuncture.  His methods are based in Chinese medicine.  This means the study of the subtle bodies, all the meridians that are the pathways of energy in the body, and the command points where traditional acupuncturists use needles.  Fabian integrated all this with the science of pure sound, Kototama.  As a result, his methods use the command points with tuning forks instead of needles.  I quickly add that we have only scratched the surface of what is to be learned and we have studied this for more than ten years now.

Fabian did kirlian photography with cells and discovered that the healthy ones showed up pink in the photos. His work with cancer cells responding to the vibrational stimulation has not been replicated, but it is impressive to learn about and makes logical sense.  Our molecular structures in our bodies are vibrating, as it is with all matter.  We now know that atoms and even smaller particles (quarks, nutrinos etc) are vibrational.  Further, there seems to be a tone created by the vibration.  This being so, it makes sense that illness might respond to the vibrational energy of sound.  And, Fabien has proven that with thousands of his subjects who have been healed.  Each one of us has our own tone, the planet earth has a tone, and the spectrum of energy vibration is so vast that everything is part of it.  Starting with matter that appears solid, moving upward with 50 octaves of sound that can be heard, and moving into the color spectrum, the vibrationsal field is well, it is everything.  Everything is vibrational.  When we are sick, we are “out of tune.”

We are spiritual bodies, with a physical form, an etheric-aural field which might be called the emotional body, a mental body, a causal body, a Buddhic body, and finally Atman.  We heal the physical body through touch and movement, the emotional body responds to sound, and the mental body can be healed through color.  That is much too simplistic but is sort of the essence of his method.

What we discovered has brought much joy and wellness into our daily living.  Our practice includes his version of Qi Gong.  We purchased a set of chimes which hang above our massage table and can relieve stress in the most dramatic way.  We also have the colored scarves, the lights and color gells, placed over a stage light,  that can bathe the body in color.  Add the flower essences and you have a picture of what we learned.

We returned to France for more study.  Paul took level two and I studied level one.  Another year we returned to France for two weeks of shamanic training.   In the process, I came to know that I know very little.  Chinese medicine would take a very long time to learn.  The art of doing the pulses alone is something that I found difficult to do.  Yet, I am glad we learned as much as we did and that we can apply it to our daily living.  If my body is hurting or sick, I know that therapeutic touch and movement will bring it to good health.  If my emotions are upset or negative, I know that I can “change the music” and my mood will change.  If my mental state is down, I know that color will revive it.  The flower essences are an ally to aid my increased awareness and awakening.

Here is our list of the books we are currently reading.  Our method is that we give over one to two hours daily to read into these books, one page or one paragraph at a time.  We read aloud to each other and sometimes spend time discussing the ideas.  Altogether, it feeds the “learner” talent in me and seems to appeal to the “maximizer” in both of us.  Enjoy and send me your feedback.

1.  Like a Tree by Jean Bolen

All about the importance of trees from their anatomy and physiology to their role as archetypal and sacred symbols.  Great wisdom here, especially for women evolving to their authenticity.

2.  To Be and How To Be by Peggy Rubin

Peggy’s knowledge of world culture, myth, symbols, combined with deep spiritual truths and her background in theatre make this very interesting and practical.  She has a gentle and encouraging way of teaching Sacred Theatre.  This book would give a group lots to do and would be worth doing over a long period of time.

3,  Healing At The Speed of Sound by Don Campbell and Alex Doman

Once more, Don Campbell teaches the way of sound and the healing power of music.

4.  The Steve Jobs Way by Jay Elliot gives a candid look at the genius of Steve Jobs.

5.  Deep Truth by Gregg Braden may be the most thought-provoking book we are reading now.  Worth a look for sure.  Reserve lots of time and deep insights regarding how science is “stuck.”

6.  Evolutionary Enlightenment by Andrew Cohen brings us to the brink of edge of psychology and to the twenty-first century as the luckiest people alive ever.  Moves us into the real spiritual evolutionary process.

7.  Journey of the Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme and Mary Evelyn Tucker. A big story about how humans and the Earth can flourish together.

8.  Process Mind by Arnold Mindell.  A User’s Guide to Connecting with the Mind of God.  Deep and challenging.  Makes good sense.

9.  Spiritual Economics by Eric Butterworth,  We have the power and the means to live abundantly.  His emphasis on giving is what I like most.

10.  How Quantum Activism Can Save Civilization by Amit Goswami.  All about the end of scientific materialism.  Consciousness conceives, constructs, and becomes biology.

11.  A Thousand Names for Joy by Byron Katie.  We are re-reading this one because it is so deep and every day brings insights into reality.  Learning to love what is.

12.  Living the Wisdom of the Tao by Wayne Dyer.  We are re-reading this on because it is his version of the Tao, which is a good partner for Byron Katie’s book.

13.  Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton.  We are re-reading this one, too.  Very deep, very meaningful, and stretches us beyond the last century of our understanding of the human body.  The big turning point was the Human Genome Project.

Just when I think things are smoothing out and we are actually on our way to “Beginners Heaven,” one of us makes a mistake and there we are again, guilty and ashamed, just like the old feelings from childhood.  They are like deep fractal patterns that recur under present circumstances.  So, here is the latest story of this fractal wave.  It is sort of a tsunami in miniature right here in Elm Grove, our beautiful little neighborhood.

Last night, it being our day to water, we were going out to dinner.  To save the time that it would have taken to get out the hose and hand water the vine we are growing to shade our dining room window, Paul made a hasty decision to use the sprinkler head where the vine was located and give it a five minute drink so we could get on our way to our dinner date.

As happens with 80 year olds, he touched the wrong button and instead of watering from one station for five minutes, one of the front cycles kicked in and we watered that part of the front lawn, illegally.  Now lawn watering is a good thing when you are not in severe drought conditions and when you don’t have a ban on use of irrigation systems.

Soooo, you can imagine our dismay when on returning from a lovely dinner at Nonna Gina’s with our son, Ed, we saw that the whole front sprinkler cycle has engaged and, sure enough, we had broken the law.  We had watered against the rules.

Our chagrin was deep and wide as the Red Sea.  It became deeper and wider when the neighbors began to talk about it on the internet.  Wow!  I felt like a child again with my Daddy grabbing his belt or his razor strop to give me a sound whipping.  I was so deeply ashamed and guilt ridden, I lay awake a long time trying to decide how to make amends.

There is nothing one can do after the fact.  This is like trying to retrieve words after they have been spoken in anger.  Much like gathering up the feathers from a pillow that broke during a pillow fight, it is very hard to do.

So, what is the message?  What is the lesson?  At this point, hard to tell.  I will do my best to apologize to the irate neighbors, but I confess it is a little hard to face their condemnation with unconditional love.  I guess that is the lesson.  Do good to those who hurt you.  Turn the other cheek, etc.  I certainly can empathize with their feelings, for I know how I react when someone does something they really shouldn’t do.  Still, I cannot turn back the clock and not make the mistake.  So, it is what it is.  Here.  Now.

The message is, obviously, we will be getting the hose out or the watering can, as we have done faithfully during this drought and even before.  We believe in conservation and sustainability of all resources.  And,  we live in the way that we can best interpret being good neighbors, good friends, and good people.  That will not stop and we do learn from our mistakes.

Families are the place we learn forgiveness.  Neighborhoods are like family.  They are also the laboratory for learning how to love.  As my grandfather said often after a family fight, “Nuph Sed!”  ”On We Go!”

…and you lay the groundwork for vice (when you try to make people moral).  This post is an excerpt from Byron Katie’s book, A Thousand Names for Joy.  On pages 185 to 187, she says:

“Being present means living without control and always having your needs met.  For people who are tired of the pain, nothing could be worse than trying to control what can’t be controlled.  If you want real control, drop the illusion of control.  Let life live you.  It does anyway.  You’re just telling the story about how it doesn’t, and that’s a story that can never be real.  You didn’t make the rain or the sun or the moon.  You have no control over your lungs or your heart or your vision or your breath.  One minute you’re fine and healthy, the next minute you’re not.  When you try to be safe, you live your life being very, very careful, and you may wind up having no life at all.  Everything is nourishment.  I like to say, 

You cannot make people moral.  People are what they are, and they’ll do what they do, with or without our laws.  Remember the Prohibition amendment?  I hear that it was passed by well-intentioned, moral people, who just wanted to save the rest of us from the temptation of alcohol.  Of course it failed, because sobriety can come only from the inside.  You can’t force people to be sober or honest or kind.  You can say ‘Thou shalt not’ till you’re blue in the face, and they’ll do it anyway.

The best way, the ONLY effective way, is to serve as an example and not to impose your will.  I used to try to make my children moral by telling them what they should do, what they shouldn’t do, what they should like, what they shouldn’t like.  In my confusion, I was trying to be a good mother, and I thought that this was the way to make them good people.  When they didn’t do what I wanted, I would shame or punish them, believing that it was for their own good.  So in reality what I taught them was to break my laws and be very careful not to get caught.  I taught them that the way to have peace in our home was to sneak and lie.  Many of the things I was teaching them not to do, I had done myself and hadn’t admitted to them, and some of the things I was still doing even as they watched.  I expected them not to do these things simply because I said so.  It didn’t work.  It was a recipe for confusion.

I lost my children twenty years ago.  I came to see that they were never mine to begin with.  That was an extreme loss: they truly died to me.  I discovered that who I thought they were had never existed at all.  And my experience of them now is more intimate than I can describe.  Today, when my children ask me what they should do, I say, ‘I don’t know, honey.’  Or, ‘Here’s what I did in a similar situation, and it worked for me.  And you can always know that I’m here to listen and that I’m always going to love you, whatever decision you make.  You’ll know what to do.  And also, sweetheart, you can’t do it wrong.  I promise you that.’  I finally learned to tell my chidlren the truth.

It’s painful to think you know what’s best for your children.  It’s hopeless.  When you think that you need to protect them, you’re teaching anxiety and dependence.  But when you question your mind and learn how not to be mentally in your children’s business, finally there’s an example in the house:  someone who knows how to live a happy life.  They notice that you have your act together and that you’re happy, so they start to follow.  You have taught them everything they know about anxiety and dependence, and now they begin to learn something else, something about what freedom looks like.  That’s what happened with my chidlren.  They just don’t see a lot of problems anymore, because in the presence of someone who doesn’t have a problem, they can’t hold on to one.  If your happiness depends on your children being happy, that makes them your hostages.  I think I’ll just skip them, and be happy from here.  That’s a lot saner.  It’s called unconditional love.

Why would I give my children advice when I can’t possibly know what’s best for them?  If what they do brings them happiness, that’s what I want; it it brings them unhappiness, that’s what I want, because they learn from that what I could never teach them.  I celebrate the way of it, and they trust that, and I trust it.”

This is from “A Thousand Names for Joy” by Byron Katie pp. 185-187

Yesterday, I had a delightful encounter with a three or maybe four year old, extremely intelligent young lady. We greeted each other with a high five and she looked at me and asked, “What’s wrong with your face?” Now, how would you answer that question? I knew exactly what she meant. My face is that of an old woman with 82 years of experience–wrinkled, sagging, and liver spotted. I watch out for stray long hairs that grow out of interesting spots, unexpectedly. I cover the liver spots with makeup, but this day, I was in the raw, un-made up, “au naturale.” I also had a lot of sweat pouring from my pores, and reddened skin due to lifting some heavy boxes. My answer to Piper was that “I got really hot.” She countered with, “Why are you hot?” And that brought many possibilities to my mind. I thought she wouldn’t really be interested in the weather facts. We have had a very hot summer of record-breaking heat and no rain. (I call it the Rick Perry effect–lots of hot air and high pressure drying us up here in Texas.) But those ideas wouldn’t be interesting or pertinent in the life of a little girl. So we said good bye and I hope to meet her again very soon. I smile at the candor and honesty of her question. She is perfectly wondrous–a genius with original vision and incredible determination.

It brought to my mind one of the memories from my own childhood. They said that I would go to people and tell them, “I will be ‘free’ in January.” It’s true my birthday is in January and in the year 1932, I would have been three years old, so I was probably two and a half when I told people that I would be “free” in January. Then, my thoughts went to being free. Freedom to say whatever is on my mind. Like the crack about Rick Perry. Just as my new friend, Piper, said what she thought with no censoring. Such a loss when we are censored. How much more delightful to enjoy life from a totally honest place. To say what we think, without worry that it won’t please or be perfect, now that is a dream come true. How would the world be different if we were candidly honest and said whatever came to our minds? We have not avoided conflict or war by being unreal.

Some other words are on my mind. I call them the bad “C”s: Competition, comparison, and control. If we could replace them with collaboration, compassion, and communication, things might flow a little better. In the world of commerce, competition is a carry over from the long ago age when we quit being nomadic and became farmers with our own territory, which we protected. Then we compared our farm to our neighbors’ and competition to win became the name of the game. Cooperation is better than winning over them. Compassion and understanding are better than censoring. We are all in this big Cosmic Connection and we will do well to accept one another as we are, without blame, judgment, or fault-finding. Community and belonging are better than comparing and competing.

Honest, open communication and freedom to experience life in all its joy are added to my ongoing vision of “Beginner’s Heaven.” It is our privilege to construct it as we evolve into possibilities. Please join me in envisioning what your Beginner’s Heaven would look like and how it would feel.