Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D.

To dream a dream…..

And, to actually build the ships, hire the crew, and take the voyage…a rare sort of mind like the archetypal Odysseus, our son, Dr. Edward M. Robiinson dreamed a dream he never dared to dream…..from AUSTIN TO ABBEY ROAD.

The beginning was Haloween, 1983, a newly formed rock and roll band, naming themselves “Scurvy Otto and the Ricketts”, played at Young’s Pizza in Kingsville, TX.  Their songs fit the times.  Crowd favorites were, “Bang, Bang, It’s Alright” and “Rita, Rita, Won’t You Come on Home”.

Twenty-five years later, one of those band members dreamed a dream–to get the band together again.  Like Odysseus who took a hero’s journey around the Grecian Seas, Ed created a voyage, first in his imagination and then, in real time with real money.  Ed has a Ph.D. in Computer Science and other degrees in Physics, but his lifelong passion for music is a creative force in his world.

Returning from a successful adventure in the world of high tech, he came back to his roots.  Geographically, that meant returning to Texas and emotionally, it was a return to the world of music and his college days with the Ricketts.  He had another band in those days, which he named, “Special Ed and the School Bored”.  We enjoyed many nights out in Kingsville, listening to his music.

And, so the ship set sail in summer of 2008.  The result is an album called South Texas Stomp.   I admit I am prejudiced, but I really like listening to it.  I’m the Mom, so I confess to being biased.  When I watched this young man re-capture the spirit of that time 25 years ago, placing his venture capital in the support of the adventure, I was touched with the dare of the dream.  He risked an amount that could have been used for an Astin-Martin or top of the line Porsche.  He termed it his “mid-life crisis” but a car would have depreciated and the memories the band created will be forever adding value to the lives of all who were there.

Ed hired his sister, Kaye Barlow, to manage the details.  Another sister, Cynthia Barlow-Thompson, was chronicler and photographer.  Yet another sister, Anna Brown, was hired to be an assistant back at home.  Mike Morgan, Bobby Aycock, Alan Barnette, who were the original Scurvy Otto and Ricketts, were recruited and brought to performance and recording standards at Five AM Studios here in Austin.  Robert Thompson was all around go-for rounding out the crew.

So the trip was made and they created a song to tell the story, “From Austin to Abbey Road,” complete with sound effects of the flight and the streets of London.

Family is a priceless gift.  Paul told me early in our marriage that all we can give our children is memories.  Now the children are returning the favor.  Ed’s creativity was the source of yet another memorable family story.  The band will be in Kingsville on Haloween this year, performing again at Young’s Pizza.  We are going to be there with bells on.

(Posted on July 30, 2008)

Do you ever wake in the night and get caught in circular thinking? Are you ever facing a trip, a presentation, a big event and find that, even though you need to sleep, you cannot turn it off? Does your mind turn on an inner critic in the night?

I have learned a few tricks for such a time. Today, I will share one that works every time for me. It is a carry over from my hypnosis training but, since we all are living in “trance”, you can tame your mind with this kind of thought.  You can memorize my words, write your own, find some other script in a book or on the internet. You can read this into a tape recorder and play it to yourself.  Add quiet music if you like.  Do it, and you will benefit! Use a soothing voice and allow lots of pauses, so that your mind and body begin to work together for a restful night.

SCRIPT for RELAXATION:

“I am aware of my thoughts and my body. I am not my thoughts. I am more than my thoughts.  I am not my body.  I am more than my body.   I am not my emotions.  I am more than my emotions.   I can witness my body. I can change my thoughts. I can change my emotions.

I am imagining a very safe place in nature and I can see myself going to that place for a time away. I will take myself to that safe place through my imagination. I can relax and enjoy.

I am aware of my breathing. I will now count my breaths. As I count, I will allow my body to relax.

(*Leave space on the tape for slow count and stop counting at 33 breaths. You may already have fallen asleep. Let the tape shut itself off and enjoy your sleep.   If not, keep listening.)

“My muscles are relaxing. The top of my head and all my scalp muscles are relaxing. I relax my eyelids. My eyelids are feeling heavy. All the muscles in my face are relaxed. My mouth is relaxed. My tongue and throat are relaxed. I am keeping just enough tension in my face to keep my mouth closed.  I relax and allow my body to sink into the bed.  I notice how good my body feels as it relaxes.

My chest muscles are relaxing. My body feels relaxed. I am relaxing my back. My shoulders, my arms, my elbows, forearms, wrists, and all my fingers are relaxed.

My body feels sleepy and relaxed.

I am relaxing my abdomen and all the muscles in my lower body. The relaxation is washing over me like warm sunlight on a lazy day. I can feel my body drifting into sleep. My mind is allowing my body to rest and sleep.

The relaxation is moving into my thighs, my knees, my lower legs, ankles, and my feet. Each of my ten toes is relaxed and at ease.

I can give my body respect and protection. I invite my body to sleep. My mind is relaxed. My thoughts are sleepy and slowing down. I am at ease. I am at peace. I am sleepy. Soooo sleepy. I feel relaxed and sleepy. Just drifting off to sleep. At peace. At ease. Relaxed. Sleepy. ……”

Good Night and Pleasant Dreams!

MARJ BARLOW’S BELIEFS ABOUT PHYSICAL HEALTH

(posted on July 29, 2008)

My principles of health were formed in the years I was serving my clients as a professional therapist.  I taught stress management classes, worked with local health organizations, providing hypnosis, guided imagery, and relaxation training. I had seen many real life examples of the connections between the mind and the body.   The seven principles of health which were the basis for my series of lessons all start with the letter M.  Seven Principles, Seven Actions: Mouth, Meditation, Movement, Mission, Mentors, Mirth, and Music.

I believe….

1) the mouth has something to do with the way we stay healthy or get sick.   What we eat, drink, take, smoke, or SAY has a lot to do with our physical and mental health.

2) Meditation in any form will allow our minds to be at ease.  A mind at peace sets the stage for the body to return to healthy balance.

3) Mission means we have something to live for.  Good evidence exists that when people retire with nothing to do, no contribution to make, they tend to get sick and die.

4) Mentors are important to our health.  Life long learning is associated with life long health.  An open, active mind prevents the atrophy of our brain cells.   A mentor is someone who provides information, encouragement, counseling, and relationship.

5) Movement of mind and body is necessary.  The old saying, “Move it or lose it” applies to mind as well as body.

6) Mirth, laughter, merriment, a positive attitude correlates with good health.

7) I have witnessed the power of music and sound to restore balance in our flow of energy; the power of music to establish moods; the power of music to change our moods; and the power of our own voices to create vibrational healing.

Joy is the result of these M’s.  What we focus on becomes our reality.  That is a law of learning theory.  Therefore, focus on these positive M’s will lead to healthy existence in Body, Mind, Emotions, and Spirit.

Related writing:  “Your Lifelong Compass of JOY”;
“A script for taming your mind”;
“Transform your inner critic into your inner strengths coach”

I received this idea from reading Laurence Hillman’s description of an upcoming Mythodrama, which Paul and I are attending in September. Turning that inside critical voice into an inner Strengths Coach is a novel and exciting idea. Try it! You might like it! Next time you find yourself silently berating yourself, scolding or putting yourself down, STOP! Yes, you can stop thoughts. Take charge of the thought and ask what would you do if you were coaching someone who was saying those things about him or herself? You can change the direction of your inner dialogue. That negative self-talk is not helpful to you. It will never bring you to your greatness or your best version of yourself. That negative voice is the one thing that is guaranteed to keep your self image in the mode of “I am not enough”.

The challenge is to cultivate the positive self coach within. Ask what you like about yourself and get real about your true talented essence of soul–your real self. Notice when your day is going well and be the inner coaching voice that inspires you to create more good days like that. Remember your clock of awareness: Beliefs-Thoughts-Feelings-Behavior. You can deliberately choose to believe in your own positive development; your thoughts will then align with positive inner strengths coaching; your feelings will reflect the new thought path; and your behavior will reflect the good feelings. Behavior shows up in your body; feelings are the emotional flow (energy in motion); thoughts are your mind in action; and beliefs are the basis of your spiritual existence. Each of these four corners need rest and relaxation, sustenance and food, attention and focus. Your body, your emotions, your mind, and your spirit call for attention. You are your own creator.  So, today is a good day to fire your inner critic and hire an inner STRENGTHS COACH!

I learned another method for good communication today. Chuck Shamel, a friend of the long road, wrote about RESPECTful Communication Guidelines in his report of a recent Vestry Retreat for All Saints Episcopal Church in Corpus Christi, TX. The retreat was led by another friend, Rev. Faith Baldwin. Faith introduced them to a new meaning for RESPECT as a way of listening and responding to one another.

Here are the guidelines, using the letters of the word, RESPECT:

R -take RESPONSIBILITY for what you say and feel without blaming others.

E-use EMPATHIC listening.

S-be SENSITIVE to differences in communication styles.

P-PONDER what you hear and feel before you speak.

E-EXAMINE your own assumptions and perceptions.

C-keep CONFIDENTIALITY when it is requested; share CONSTRUCTIVELY.

T-TRUST ambiguity because we are NOT here to debate who is right or wrong.

These principles will be great to use in any conversation!!

(Respectful Communication was developed by Eric H. F. Law. You can read more about them in his book, “The Wolf Shall Dwell With the Lamb”.)