Marjorie R. Barlow, Ph.D.

Bruce Lipton, MD said his life changed when he realized that his identity was not to be found inside his body but in the “field” outside his body.  I like to stretch my thinking to realize that my spirit exists outside my body and that my body is not who I am.

Then, today, I read something else that spoke to me on the same subject.  My friend, Chris Trout, is a Strengths Coach in Maine.  Today his newsletter featured excerpts from an article by Mel Schwartz, psychotherapist and life coach,  and I like it.  I have asked this question of many people over the years.  How do you answer, “Who are you?”  I like Mel’s thinking and wanted to share my updated version of the quest for identity.

From Chris Trout’s weekly newsletter, “Living Strengths”…….enjoy reading……

Who am I? Is that the right question?

Every once in a while, I come across a piece of writing that is so right on, I wish I had written it myself! So it is today. Psychotherapist and executive coach Mel Schwartz wrote this thought-provoking piece: “Who Am I?”

This question, asked so often, suggests that there is actually a plausible answer. Almost as if our being were a fixed thing. People who ask this sort of question are typically struggling with their identity and are searching for a core sense of themselves. The irony is that the more you seek to identify who you are, the more fragile you are likely to feel about yourself. There may be an inverse correlation between the question being asked and the ease with which you experience your life. The emphasis shouldn’t be on discovering who you are (what is buried beneath) but on facilitating the emergence of what you’d like to experience.

Our identity should be seen as an ongoing process. Rather than a static snapshot, we should embrace a flowing sense of self, whereby we are perpetually re-framing, re-organizing, re-thinking and re-considering ourselves. How different would life be if rather than asking who am I, we contemplated how we’d like to engage life?

And, so, today, August 15, 2011, think about this:

Instead of asking, Who Am I?, why not facilitate the emergence of what you’d like to experience?  Make a list of all the things you would like to experience.  Let your mind soar into new possibilities and begin to create yourself the way you really want to be.  Add what you want to have and what you want to do.  Enjoy!

The retreat at lovely Stillheart Resort is right around the corner.  Thanks to Cassie Schindler, I get to participate in yet another women’s wisdom group.  You can still come as she has a few places left.  Contact her at www.thealternatepath.com or call 650-578-8689.

Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life,”  was self published first in 1976.  She has gone on to create her own publishing house, Hay House, and is a radiant being of light in the world.  Every time I have seen her, there is a presence that is palpable from any distance.  She exudes love.  The following words are on the last page of this valuable book and I have copied them into this page so that I will read them often and remember the power of love:

“DEEP AT THE CENTER OF MY BEING, there is an infinite well of love.  I now allow this love to flow to the surface.  It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied.  the more love I use and give, the more I have to give, the supply is endless.  The use of love makes ME FEEL GOOD, it is an expression of my inner joy.

I love myself; therefore, I take loving care of my body.  I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages, I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.  I love myself; therefore, I provide for myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.  I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this love and be nourished by it.

I love myself; therefore, I work at a job that I truly enjoy doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities, working with and for people that I love and that love me, and earning a good income.  I love myself, therefore, I behave and think in a loving way to all people, for I know that that which I give out returns to me multiplied.  I only attract loving people in my world, for they are a mirror of what I am.  I love myself; therefore, I forgive and totally release the past and all past experiences and I am free.  I love myself; therefore, I live totally in the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright and joyous and secure, for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now and forever more.  And, so it is.

I love you.”

–from You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay.

Choose What I Say
(aka The Word Song)
Music and Lyrics by Kit Holmes

Words give us poems, lyrics and rhymes
Novels and lines from a play
On rocks and on pages, all through the ages
We’ve tried to express the same way

Words are the seeds that made you and me
And gave us our nights and our days
So I carefully, consciously, willingly, thoughtfully, lovingly
Choose what I say

Some words are diamonds, like wisdom and love,
Integrity, courage and trust
But if we should give them to folks who don’t live them
Their meanings scatter like dust

Words are the seeds that made you and me
And gave us our nights and our days
So I carefully, consciously, willingly, thoughtfully, lovingly
Choose what I say

Words are the weapons that fire the first shot
In all the wars ever begun
We check off our lists and clash with our fists
When we really should be holding our tongues

Words are the engines that move us through life
Holding us safe on the tracks
From station to station each destination
Gives us strength to let go of the past

Words are the seeds that made you and me
And gave us our nights and our days
So I carefully, consciously, willingly, thoughtfully, lovingly
Choose what I say

Words of advice: be patient and nice
The world wasn’t made in a day
So carefully, consciously, willingly, thoughtfully, lovingly
Choose what you say

c.2007, Kit Holmes Music/ No Place Like Holmes Publishing (ASCAP)
From the album It’s a New Day
Downloads/CDs available from ITunes, Amazon, CDBaby and directly from www.kitholmesmusic.com

This happy day is to be celebrated.  We received Halloween candy at our church this morning.  The ushers passed the candy following the passing of the collection plates.  Just loved that!  We will give candy to the little ones who show up from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m.– all in frightful costumes.  We hope for at least one great grandchild to ring the bell.  Our neighborhood has many young families and Halloween last year was a great joy.  We will costume ourselves and enter into the spirit of all hallows eve here in Booda, Texas!!!

Speaking of happiness–I woke at 3:00 a.m. this morning with this thought front and center:  ”I am happy.” Now, for some that might not be a revelation of any kind, but for this depression-era-hellfire preaching-worry addicted 80 something woman, that was a real revelation.  What came to me was that the statement “I am happy”  can be followed by the connecting word “therefore”  instead of the conjunction “because.”  This may seem like splitting hairs, but it seemed profound to me at 3 a.m.  If I am happy only if or because of certain conditions (enough money, children all well and happy, weather is good, etc etc) then my happiness is conditional. It means happiness depends on outside circumstances and doesn’t come from the inside.   If, on the other hand, according to my waking dream, I am happy therefore what follows is the outcome of my positive attitude and my choice of remaining happy, then very likely we will have enough money, our children will be responsible for their own wellness and happiness, the weather will be acceptable as it is, etc etc.  So, for now, I am saying that I am happy from the inside out.  That means happiness is my way of life and not conditional.  That seems to be good news.

I learned in hypnosis to say the words explicitly like I wanted the outcome.  So, I offer these explicit instructions.  Say, “I am happy” and leave off any conditional requirement.  I am happy because everything is good might be ok but probably it would be better to phrase it this way, “I am happy therefore everything is good.”  Simply stated, start being happy inside and the outside will mirror that.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL!